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What's the social rules here....


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I met someone I have not seen for a few years. Not really friends just acquaintances. Anyway one of the first thing she said was, "oh you have put on weight haven't you". I thought thanks! Certainly I have put on a bit, nothing startling though, but it's a bit of a knock when someone uses something like that as a greeting. I felt like saying back "and you are looking uglier than you used to!".

 

What's the accepted things with comments like this? I don't think I really get it.

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some people are just rude.

 

I would normally brush that off and ignore it and make sure they got nothing in my will wink

 

But I am always impressed by those who come back with the "yeah, but at least I can lose the weight, hard to lose the ugly huh?" type comments.

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Yep, lots of that here. You are either gaining weight (fat) or losing weight (sick) and neither are ever followed by a ...."You look good" comment.. veryangry

 

 

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Strange when in other areas things are so very polite.

i don't really know how to respond to this either.

 

Others....

 

- you're going grey arent you

- you look tired

 

Any more?

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It's like a greeting isn't it. No real thought put into it and nothing really meant by it. But it is a curious one, I agree. Never sure why something like that is ok but in so many other cases so much care put into being polite.

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To get them back I recommend something along the lines of

 

So da na! Washoku ha zenzen dame! Aburamono bakkari. Igirisu/Amerika ha mattaku futoranai!

 

I bet this will wind up a good number of Japanese people. The comeback is then tonkatsu, karaage, korokke, tenpura....

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Basically its

 

Yeah, you're right (i.e., I am getting fat). Japanese food is no good! Its all (deep) fried. I never get fat in the UK/America/wherever!

 

Some Japanese people are very proud of Japanese food, so it works as a dig in the ribs.

 

Quite a lot of the food that Japanese people actually eat day to day is pretty fattening and much removed from the healthy dishes that Japan is internationally known for. There is quite a gap between the image/tradition and what is increasingly the reality.

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That kind of comment really annoys me. Especially when it comes from people you hardly know, not even friends. Friends are allowed to say that kind of thing, but the old biddy down the shop I go in once a year doesn't have the right! grandpa

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We were at a party and a very STUCK UP (married into money) Cousin came up to Mr Snowhunter and said "Oh hello WOW last time I saw you you had a full head of hair, what happened". To which I jumped in and said Wow last time I saw you you hadn't swallowed a baby elephant!! BITCH - Don't mess with my man!!

 

Luckily at that stage I was still a Size 6. lol

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Just go back with a ãã†ã§ã™ã­ and shrug it off. The last thing they expect if you to question it. It's one of those questions that are not supposed to have any answer.

 

They don't mean anything bad, just a 'greeting' that comes across as rude. Take the high road!

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Originally Posted By: muikabochi
Just go back with a ãã†ã§ã™ã­ and shrug it off. The last thing they expect if you to question it. It's one of those questions that are not supposed to have any answer.

They don't mean anything bad, just a 'greeting' that comes across as rude. Take the high road!


Muika....for the win! thumbsup
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Originally Posted By: big-will
The problem with that high road is that the offenders don't know about it!


Idiots then...I just move on. Simple as that. Any recourse just makes you the dick.
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I get the 'fat/skinny' comments at least once a month at work from various J-colleagues who pop in from time to time. I presume it is just a kind of aisatsu that is acceptable here.

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