For all the disaster victims who care to share

[Mintyjulep 0]

I was just reading a post made by someone in Tokyo - upset that forum members were joking about a 2.0 in Perth. It made me think about the perception that others have looking in on a disaster zone. It also made me think about the on going effects of a catastrophe on your body, your psyche, your home and family, and your lifestyle.

 

I think that it is important to share your experience - what happened to you, where you were, was everyone you know ok, has your heartrate returned to normal yet, what was the first thing that made you smile again, what makes you cry still, what made you feel useless and what made you feel empowered.

 

You don't need to post about the Tohoku (did I get that right?) EQ and tsunami, you could have been in any natural disaster. This is about sharing coping mechanisms and (god forbid) feelings, and to let people understand that while it is no joking matter - that you are still able to lol at funnies.

[klingon 10]

Hold on hold on hold on.

Talking about me right?

You don't know me.

You don't know who I am.

You don't know where I live.

You don't know who I know who might have been affected.

Perhaps even myself.

You don't know these things do you.

 

So who are you to tell me, or indeed anyone else, how to react to stuff and what to post and what to feel.

 

[Go Native 70]

Originally Posted By: klingon

Hold on hold on hold on.
Talking about me right?
You don't know me.
You don't know who I am.
You don't know where I live.
You don't know who I know who might have been affected.
Perhaps even myself.
You don't know these things do you.

So who are you to tell me, or indeed anyone else, how to react to stuff and what to post and what to feel.

WTF?

[klingon 10]

Originally Posted By: Go Native

Originally Posted By: klingon

Hold on hold on hold on.
Talking about me right?
You don't know me.
You don't know who I am.
You don't know where I live.
You don't know who I know who might have been affected.
Perhaps even myself.
You don't know these things do you.

So who are you to tell me, or indeed anyone else, how to react to stuff and what to post and what to feel.

WTF?

WFT yourself.

[Mintyjulep 0]

I hope this helps the SJ forumers in Japan who are a bit anxious about the future. There is a future, it's uncertain and it could be years before you're back to normal. Right now learn to live in the "new normal"

 

I live in Christchurch, New Zealand. It's the second largest city in NZ, but it's pretty small - everyone knows everyone and the tallest building in the CBD was about 25 stories - small bikkies compared to "real cities"

 

I never really wanted to live here, but I love my husband and I agreed to stay. On the night of Sept 4th 2010, we awoke to hear a roaring noise - literally the shingle beneath the Canterbury plains (this layer is very deep) rattling together to make the scariest noise I have ever heard. My then fiancee jumped out of bed first as the house started to rock, he got to the doorway just as I managed to get out of bed - I had to run the long way, but at that point the shaking was strong enough that I was being thrown around the room. The chandelier was swinging and hitting the ceiling, I was too scared to run under it in case I fell and it landed on me. Eventually I did make it to the doorway.

 

Although it shook all night we kind of thought that was that - that you have a big earthquake (EQ) and then it goes away again as suddenly as it came, but four days later we had an aftershock (AS)that brought our chimneys down, then a few days later another where I stood and watched all the tanks at work (winery) swaying menacingly, and another a month later where I lost control of my car and the ground rolled up and down under me. Then another on boxing day where I cowered in terror as thousands of people screamed and ran out of the mall. Then we had feb 22nd - I was in hospital recovering from an operation, it actually felt like nothing to me, but I cried because I was on opiates and my bed glided across the room, and I couldn't move far by myself, or even get off the bed. Turned out this was the worst of the lot - our house was trashed, chch was trashed.

 

EQ's get you really down, they keep on going and going and then you think it's all over, it's all ok, and then they bite you in the ass.

 

The most valuable thing I've learned is that you need to find something to occupy your mind - working, volunteering, anything, just don't focus on the EQ or the AS's - don't scaremonger, and don't make people feel bad. I actually always try to laugh them off when one happens and my family call. They know it's scary - I don't need to tell them that they're much luckier and they don't understand.

 

I found myself making jokes pretty early on - there were a bunch of pictures circulated of things like the terminator standing by a church that had collapsed, jaws swimming in silt and water from liquefaction. You ARE allowed to joke about the thing that could of killed you. The more you talk and joke about it, the easier it is to move on.

 

I still burst into tears a lot - writing this post is making me a big weepy mess. Days where I find new damage to our house, when another name is released, that my insurance company didn't reinsure after the sept quake (thank you govt for bailing them out) I cried a lot when my work didn't pay me after the quake - everyone around me was being paid, why did I get the crap deal. Actually I got a very good deal - I'm alive and I have all my limbs, both my cats, all my friends and family, my husband. I sometimes still imagine the feeling I felt when I was sitting outside in the rain watching a guy wake up from surgery in the carpark and wondering if my husband was ok.

 

Relax - I've been tense for 7 months, worst idea ever - I struggle to relax at all, but you need to really try because if you do what I do, and don't relax, you'll hurt yourself and you'll be useless. I had a back spasm two months ago and so not only is my husband the breadwinner now (my place of work fell down) but also he has to do a lot of housework, and all the digging/jackhammering etc for our broken water mains as I have such a limited range of movement.

 

Don't live in fear, but be prepared. Chile has had over a year of EQ/AS's, we're working on month 8, yes Japan will be shaking for a long time - who knows to what extent, be prepared for this mentally, but don't become a Ken Ring and start predicting EQs

 

Lastly, life does change. I lost my job, I also lost my ability to go to uni as they've cut intakes for the coming year. I'm applying for jobs in the insurance and social development sectors as I'd like to help people. There are other things that change too, our house is damaged enough that we can't progress with our renovations, which means that we've chosen to put off children for a year at least. We're in limbo for "6-9 months" on top of the past 7. You need to adapt to your new life, like we're trying to a lot of people are adamant that nothing should change. I think they're finding it hardest.

[muikabochi 208]

I know how you feel certainly in terms of the way they play on your mind MintyNZ. I've talked about this before on here but it really is the aftershocks that gradually wear you down. Our particular one here in Niigata in 2004 was a complex mix of 3 big quakes and there were many hundreds of aftershocks. I probably felt about a few hundred of them over a period of a few months. I was actually relatively ok after the first one. Just shocking but we were lucky not to see damage as we are out of the main area where it hit. But a week later after being shook up many many times I was getting worn down by it all and a bit of a mess.

 

Quote:

and they don't understand.

 

Yes, I totally agree with these words. A few people who I know who have been shaken up pretty bad this time have actually said sorry to me. I told them to stop being silly, but what they meant was that they just didn't know what it felt like and regret making quips about earthquakes previously and fobbing off the idea. Experience a biggie yourself and you suddenly take them way more seriously. Personally I think that you laughing them off yourself (you're entitled to!) and others having a laugh about them is two very very different things.

 

Nasty things, wouldn't wish them on anyone.

 

 

Good luck Minty!

[Go Native 70]

Originally Posted By: Go Native

Originally Posted By: klingon

Hold on hold on hold on.
Talking about me right?
You don't know me.
You don't know who I am.
You don't know where I live.
You don't know who I know who might have been affected.
Perhaps even myself.
You don't know these things do you.

So who are you to tell me, or indeed anyone else, how to react to stuff and what to post and what to feel.

WTF?

Minty is only asking people to share their experiences (if they want to). What has that got to do with knowing you or who you know was affected?? How has he told you or anyone else how they should react? Am I missing something here?

[BagOfCrisps 24]

I have never experienced anything like that so I can only guess.

 

Where are you living now then Minty?

 

All the best for recovery.

[panhead_pete 27]

If you don't want to share don't. Pretty simple. I like the concept of this thread.

 

Muik I cant even imagine how hard it must be there with the after shocks, then the news today of another significant shake.

 

BTW my post re the 2.0 was never meant as a piss take. Just news. If others took it that way, even just one, it was not my intent nor an attempt to diminish what has happened in Japan.

[RobBright 35]

Originally Posted By: panhead_pete

BTW my post re the 2.0 was never meant as a piss take. Just news. If others took it that way, even just one, it was not my intent nor an attempt to diminish what has happened in Japan.

That's the funny thing with the internet, you lose all control of the meanings of words when you press post. How someone else takes it may be different to someone else.

For me? Am drained, psychologically drained. Looking after so many other people, making sure they are calm, trying to look after my family in Japan and reassuring the UK, a distinct lack of sleep, and worry is taking it's toll.

[Metabo Oyaji 71]

Originally Posted By: muikabochi

I've talked about this before on here but it really is the aftershocks that gradually wear you down.

I have to admit they are starting to get a bit old, even out here on the periphery.

I have been in natural disasters before, even a major earthquake (or so it was considered at the time), but the scale and duration of this one is different. The added extra seasoning of a slow-motion nuclear crisis has made dealing with overseas relatives a more delicate task. (I mean, usually with an earthquake or hurricane/typhoon, you either survive it or not, and after that it's a matter of hanging in there until things get back to normal, so they can stop worrying about you once they first hear from you.)

But you know, oddly, my thoughts lately have been turning to Thursday. Whatever did happen to him? Is he ok? For the sake of his beautiful kid, I hope so.

And MintyNZ, I hope you and your husband will be able to recover soon -- and not put off having kids too long! Unfortunately, from a Japanese news perspective, the Christchurch earthquake has already become old news (though the efforts of the Christchurch rescue team in Japan were very much noted and appreciated!), but I know you guys are still in the early stages of recovery. Gambare!

[kkk 7]

I'm totally not saying this is the case with your boy of course Metabo, but I had a friend who went throught the Kobe quake and apparently he was being very brave about it on the outside but ended up in hospital with severe stress.... was bottling it all up and suddenly got the better of him.

 

Good luck with it all.

[Mintyjulep 0]

Hey Metabo,

 

I have to say, the Japanese USAR team were amazing here in NZ, I saw them walking back from working one evening and everyone on the street was having a good clap

 

Our USAR guys weren't in Japan for long unfortunately - I believe they were camping in the snow and after working in chch for so long it was all a bit much.

 

We are coping ok but everyone is affected. We're heading into winter now so a bit nervous.

 

 

The cracks in the roads in the video are on the big side, but the house damage is pretty standard

 

I feel a bit like our quake is old hat even to other NZers - of course it is to the rest of the world! But we're still shitting in buckets, our cats keep ripping through the tarpaulin keeping the rain out of our roof (they like sleeping in the pink batts), and we feel every aftershock over a 3.2 if we're moving around in the house, and everything above a 2.4 if we're in bed.

 

Oops, skim read your post.

I've actually wondered about Thursday too, when did he last post? I know on the wedding forum I post on we had a roll call for the chch girls - and thankfully even the ladies who hadn't posted in a year or so came on and said "i'm ok"

[SnowJapan 178]

Wishing you all the best with your respective situations folks.

 

About thursday, his last post was in mid January and it seems he was posting lots each day right up until that. We only have one email contact for him and we did send a PM and mail but didn't get any reply, so I really have no idea what has happened there.

 

We have found in the past that if people decide to 'retire' they either slow things down first and/or come up with a spicy retirement message (the latter usually if they are annoyed with us or the Forums in general for some reason). I don't think that applies here, so it is strange that he just suddenly disappeared like that.

 

thursday, hope you are ok - if you do read this, please do contact us just to let us know you're ok and we'll let people know.

 

[Tubby Beaver 209]

Yeah he really did just drop right off the radar eh? He wasn't planning on being in Japan in March so the earthquake situ isn't a factor, I reckon. He was going to Niseko right? Start of Feb?

[joshnii 2]

The number of people affected by this is huge. And the range of stories and situations is also huge. A lot of people traumatised. It's not good telling people how to feel, they are going to feel how they feel. The only thing others can do is try to help and do what they can.

[foreversnow 5]

My heart totally sank on reading the last few threads. I only just clicked that I haven't read any of his quippy remarks on the forums recently but I had had a little break once I got back from Japan. I so hope Thursday is okay.

 

There are so many highs and lows at the moment. Trying to contact all my friends in Japan after the quake. Then getting hold of them to find some of them couldn't find family members. Then the joy to hear that they had found their family and everyone was okay. They had lost everything but they were okay.

 

Hoping to hear from you Thursday.

[HelperElfMissy 42]

+1 for concern for Thursday

 

Re: The Mag2 in Perth. I think I understand Pete, being a fellow Perth resident and Japanophile. Having been pretty focused on the sad goings on of our friends in Japan, and being tectonically stable ourselves I rolled my eyes, dropped my jaw and then pissed myself laughing at the stupidity of a Mag 2 (that may well have been just a sonic boom) making news in Perth. It is not having a giggle at Japan's expense - it is having a giggle at the ridiculousness of THAT making news in the light of the very serious situations going on elsewhere.

 

I have been very fortunate NOT to have been involved in any natural disasters. Never a serious car accident or anything like that to land me with PTSD. But when upsetting things occur - things like untimely and sudden deaths - I tend to go numb. Then I get angry with myself for not being able to grieve. Strange things, we humans.

[joshnii 2]

But there are just so many better and more appropriate things to giggle at in public than things that are obviously a very raw nerve for many many people, while they are still happening.

[Hokkaidough 4]

I hope thursday is ok and nothing has happened to him.

 

But frankly his runaway posts had been getting increasingly offensive lots of the time. So perhaps if he came back, a bit less caustic.

[big-will 7]

Back on topic, thanks for sharing your story MintyNZ.

Good luck with the rebuild.

[Mintyjulep 0]

Originally Posted By: Mamabear

Re: The Mag2 in Perth. I think I understand Pete, being a fellow Perth resident and Japanophile. Having been pretty focused on the sad goings on of our friends in Japan, and being tectonically stable ourselves I rolled my eyes, dropped my jaw and then pissed myself laughing at the stupidity of a Mag 2 (that may well have been just a sonic boom) making news in Perth. It is not having a giggle at Japan's expense - it is having a giggle at the ridiculousness of THAT making news in the light of the very serious situations going on elsewhere.

MB you put what I was thinking very very well - it is a 2.0, it is ridiculous that it was reported! As I said, even in my shakey rattley house only a few km from the fault line we wouldn't feel or even hear a 2.0! I'm sorry for offending people. I do understand what people are going through in the affected areas in Japan.

I did see a staggering example of selfishness today where a bunch of Chch Quake survivors called a 5.1 in the north island "un-news worthy" and said things like "they should come down here if they want to complain about a 5.1"

a 5.1 is pretty bloody scary - to me - a 5.1 off our Banks P fault line (runs within a few km of my house) would result in another pantry explosion at the least. A low 5 from that fault knocked our chimneys down when the 7.1 didn't manage to.

Anyway, this is group therapy! It's free!

[2pints-mate 0]

I think what you said above pretty much just says that this ain't really a great subject for humour, no?

People are obviously very sensitive and stressed out about it in so many ways..