Jump to content

The FOOTBALL Thread (2010-2011)


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 2.8k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

If Berbatov is staying, which seems to be the case, I hope you are right pie-eater.

 

Will be good to see maybe the twins playing together, they both look good.

Link to post
Share on other sites

That's not very nice.

 

In other news

 

Quote:
In what may prove to be the biggest transfer story this summer, negotiations have begun to bring Paul the psychic octopus to Madrid after he correctly predicted Spain's World Cup final victory.

 

Madrid's Zoo Aquarium says it is prepared to trump any other offer Germany's Oberhausen Sea Life Centre receives for Paul, certain that the world's most famous cephalopod will attract thousands of visitors.

 

At present no cash is on the table, and the zoo says it is trying to negotiate an exchange of animals.

 

Sounding more like the president of Real Madrid than a zookeeper, a spokesman said he was confident that Paul would be in Madrid within a few days. Madrid was prepared to offer Oberhausen "whatever they demand" to complete the deal — suggesting that this will be a cash-plus-animal transfer.

Link to post
Share on other sites

"However, Hodgson has tried without success to contact midfielder Javier Mascherano to discuss his future.

 

"I have left him voice messages and sent him texts but had no reply," said the new Anfield boss. "

 

He is gone and gone. We just have to get as much as we can now, which has always been liverpools weak point. We will probably only get 20M or something crazy.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Paul not moving or are they just holding out for a bigger bid

 

Quote:
A German zoo has turned down a "transfer request" from Spain for its star performer during the football World Cup - Paul the "psychic" octopus.

 

The cephalopod correctly predicted the outcome of all of Germany's seven matches in the tournament, and also plumped for Spain to lift the trophy.

 

This made him an instant hero in Spain, and now Madrid's Zoo says it wants to put Paul on display in its aquarium.

 

But Oberhausen's Sea Life centre said there was no chance of Paul being sold.

Link to post
Share on other sites

That is silly.

 

In other news, wonder-striker Emile Heskey has announced his retirement from country football.

 

-----

 

A prisoner on Death Row in Utah has been allowed to choose his firing squad. He has chosen Heskey.

 

-

 

The England football team go to a theatre in Cape Town to relax. Suddenly Emile gets up and walks on to the stage.

 

Fabio Capello shouts, "Heskey! What are you doing up there?" Heskey replies, "Doing what you said boss. Holding up the play."

 

-

 

Emile gets a part-time job at a zoo and the keeper, aware of the striker's reputation for a lack of pace, tells him to take care of the tortoises.

 

Later the keeper pops to see how Emile is doing and finds him standing by an empty enclosure, sobbing. "Where have all the tortoises gone?" asks the keeper. Emile shrugs and says: "I just opened the door and whoooossh!!!"

 

-

 

It'll be nice for Emile when he weds Chantelle Tagoe. It'll make a change to hear "Mrs Heskey" instead of "Heskey misses".

 

-

 

Emile plans to open a pub when he retires - because he's great at putting shots over the bar.

 

-

 

Today in England training, Heskey's 1,000 shots all hit the net. Shame they were playing tennis.

 

-

 

What's the difference between the BP oil spill and Heskey? The oil spill posed a threat to the United States.

 

-

 

A fan was chuffed when he got Emile's autograph after a match. The next week, he accosted him again and got another signature.

 

After the following game he tried to get it again. Heskey said, "This is the third time you've asked for my autograph. What's going on?" "Well," said the man, "If I get eight more of yours I can swap them for one of Wayne Rooney's."

 

-

 

A Nigerian player arrived at Aston Villa. During training the manager kept saying: "Foot, ball, goal - foot, ball, goal," while pointing at his foot, the ball then the goal.

 

The Nigerian said: "Don't speak so slowly, I speak perfect English." Then the manager told him, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to Emile."

 

-

 

Robert Green faced over 100 shots in training today without conceding a goal. Tomorrow, he and Heskey will train with the rest of the squad.

 

-

 

A spectator got into the England dressing room after the England v Algeria game. A few unsettling minutes passed before the team realised it was just Emile.

 

-

 

The new Emile Heskey Subbuteo playing piece was released today and the likeness is uncanny - especially that big block of concrete around his feet.

Link to post
Share on other sites

lol

Poor Heskey. It's not his fault he is rubbish and Crap Managers keep on picking him!

 

Fergie still liking Berbatov, who got man of the match in their game against Celtic and apparently played really well.

 

Quote:
Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has given his full backing to Dimitar Berbatov, saying the striker is a class act.

 

Berbatov was named man of the match in the 3-1 victory against Celtic at Toronto's Rogers Centre.

 

The Bulgarian opened the scoring and then set up goals for substitutes Danny Welbeck and Tom Cleverley as United got their five-match tour off to a winning start.

 

It was an impressive display by Berbatov, who has only 26 goals from 86 appearances to his credit since arriving from Tottenham in summer 2008.

Link to post
Share on other sites

And they will STILL hopefully be rubbish. Hopefully.

 

I tried to ignore all the Massive city stuff but on the same site about Berbs

 

Dimitar Berbatov: Leading the line with Mame Biram Diouf, Berbatov's touches, ability to keep the ball, and link-up play complemented Diouf's pace perfectly. Feeding off Diouf's knockdowns, Berbatov will consider himself unlucky to have scored only once. He opened up the Celtic defense repeatedly and smashed the ball wide once.

 

However, he seemed to be everywhere in the final third. Along with the demonstration of his exquisite skills, he displayed the graft and hard work which was missing last season. He scored a superb goal, and also provided the assists for United's other two goals with superb play-making. He was rightly awarded the Man-of-the-Match award for his display.

 

The hunger and the desire are writ large in the Bulgarian's demeanour. This season, the League's best second striker might well be topping the charts in goals and assists given enough time on the pitch.

Link to post
Share on other sites

The hunger and the desire are writ large in the Bulgarian's demeanour.

 

Well, that is surely a change from what we have seen.

Hopefully we might be pleasantly surprised this season.

Will wait a bit before raising hopes too much.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote:
Sir Alex Ferguson wants Bayern Munich's Philipp Lahm to join Manchester United and is willing to use striker Dimitar Berbatov as bait in a part-exchange deal. (Express)

Werder Bremen are braced for a bid from Manchester United for World Cup superstar Mesut Ozil. (Sky Sports)


Bait? BAIT!! You're gonna have to give him way Rudolf.
Link to post
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...