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The FOOTBALL Thread (2010-2011)

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hate when that happens....started off watching the Spurs game, then the stream went down. Instead of trying to get another one I switched to Man City v Brum....ended 0-0 and Spurs game ended 4-2 doh

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And in other news


NEWCASTLE'S Joey Barton has issued a public apology after failing to assault Sam Allardyce on Sunday.


Barton blamed the pressures of looking increasingly like Midge Ure for the lapse in judgement and apologised to fans upset by the Blackburn manager's unpunched face and kidneys.


He said: "One minute I was playing a game of football, the next I was in the dressing room and it was only as I was filling Andy Carroll's shoes with everyone's semen that I realised I hadn't twatted that fat bastard.


"That evening, I was so mortified I couldn't even finish my three-way Dutch Steamboat."


The FA has handed Barton a three-match suspension for the incident, seen as an unusually heavy punishment given the midfielder's reputation as a violent psychopath.


An FA spokesman said: "I once saw Joey trying to kick the arse off his own shadow for following him around, so what kind of example is he setting when he walks past Sam Allardyce and doesn't rearrange his double-glazing-factory-manager face?"


Barton has had a troubled history of neglecting to use his boundless reserves of funk, most notably at Manchester City when, despite featuring in 10 derby games, he never once hit Alex Ferguson with a bike chain or swung Gary Neville around by the moustache.


He admitted: "I need to start channeling my episodes more productively, so the next time I'm up against somebody like John Terry I'll just imagine he's a team-mate or some bloke who was walking past McDonalds, minding his own business."

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Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson will give Javier Hernandez a religious head's up before their Champions League visit to Rangers.

The People says Chicharito could be forced to abandon his pre-match Catholic prayer when Manchester United face Rangers in Glasgow on Wednesday week.

Deeply religious Hernandez – nicknamed Chico – kneels on the centre spot and prays *before kick-off in every game he starts. But it is believed United boss Ferguson – a former Rangers player – will advise the 22-year-old to ditch his ritual at Ibrox.

Rangers fans have already vowed on websites to target Hernandez if he goes through his normal routine and that will worry Ferguson who is anxious for United’s visit to pass peacefully.

Rangers officials say there is no question of them banning Hernandez from his usual pre-match routine, which he started in his native Mexico.

But he runs the risk of antagonising anti-Catholic Rangers supporters if he is included in boss Ferguson’s line-up when the teams meet at Ibrox.

One group of Christians threatening violence against a 22 year old lad because he's a different type of Christian.

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its the usual pish from the Glasgow bigots. The other side are just as bad, the other week they had a banner saying "Your Deeds Would Shame the Devils in Hell, Ireland, Iraq, Afghanistan. No Bloostained (they misspelt it cos they are inbred arseholes) Poppies on our Hoops)

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