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Niseko has this morning announced that alcohol will be banned at all of the resort areas next season.

 

In a press conference held outside Seico Mart just 20 minutes ago, and with some Australians in attendence, the resort has announced that next season alcohol will be unavailable at the resort and in all the restaurants and bars in Niseko/Kutchan. This complete ban has the full backing of all these restaurants and bars, who look forward to quieter evenings and more family-based theme nights. Sales of playing cards in the region is expected to explode with this latest news. "Crikey, a bit of a shock, but this can only be a good thing", said a local (Australian) toy shop owner who would benefit from such sales. The bars are hoping to sell more orange juice, squash cordial, colas and other non-alcoholic drinks instead. The hope is that there won't be any fights or people shouting at each other next season. More people will also make it to breakfast, which is seen as a good thing for Niseko.

 

The milk promotion board has already sensed an opportunity and 10 minutes ago announced a new Milk promotion campaign that will include well thought-out marketing phrases such as "Let's Drinking Milk, for Healthful Skiing Lifestyles" and "Niseko is Milking". A few minutes ago a spokesman, who is Australian, said "Everyone loves milk and we see huge potential tie-up opportunities. After all, milk is white, the same colour as snow. (Unless of course it is flavoured, but we will work something out there)".

 

The new ban on alcohol will begin from 1st December 2010.

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Originally Posted By: Hokkaidough
Niseko has this morning announced that alcohol will be banned at all of the resort areas next season.

In a press conference held outside Seico Mart just 20 minutes ago, and with some Australians in attendence, the resort has announced that next season alcohol will be unavailable at the resort and in all the restaurants and bars in Niseko/Kutchan. This complete ban has the full backing of all these restaurants and bars, who look forward to quieter evenings and more family-based theme nights. Sales of playing cards in the region is expected to explode with this latest news. "Fabulous, this can only be a good thing", said a local (Australian) toy shop owner who would benefit from such sales. The bars are hoping to sell more orange juice, squash cordial, colas and other non-alcoholic drinks instead. The hope is that there won't be any fights or people shouting at each other next season. More people will also make it to breakfast, which is seen as a good thing for Niseko.

The milk promotion board has already sensed an opportunity and 10 minutes ago announced a new Milk promotion campaign that will include well thought-out marketing phrases such as "Let's Drinking Milk, for Healthful Skiing Lifestyles" and "Niseko is Milking". A few minutes ago a spokesman, who is Australian, said "Everyone loves milk and we see huge potential tie-up opportunities. After all, milk is white, the same colour as snow. (Unless of course it is flavoured, but we will work something out there)".

The new ban on alcohol will begin from 1st December 2010.


Excellent!
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Originally Posted By: BagOfCrisps
Originally Posted By: RobBright
Piss poor attempt. razz


What are you, an OAP or something? Perhaps you could post a comment of outrage in the Daily mail too.


Originally Posted By: r45
Why do you feel the need to post that Rob?
Grumpy old git.


Originally Posted By: Daily Mail

Dear Readers,

Last weekend, I was reading a post on a forum about Niseko banning alcohol. I am shocked at how this could happen. What with Australian men outnumbering the women like 100 to 1, alcohol was their only legal recourse to getting women in to bed.

I now fear how the usage of date rape drugs will explode in Niseko, fuelling a sordid rise in these young men's behaviour.

Niseko should be closed down and given back to the Ainu, after which, they can grow plenty of potatoes and sweetcorn and make Royce chocolate.

yours worringly

An OAP.

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They should have consulted about this a bit more before going ahead with anything, I only just put down a deposit on a small restaurant there last week confused

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Wow, it's really sad it has to get to this point. Sucks because some people can't control themselves everyone has to suffer. This really puts a damper on my wanting to live in the area.

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Originally Posted By: MitchPee
Wow, it's really sad it has to get to this point. Sucks because some people can't control themselves everyone has to suffer. This really puts a damper on my wanting to live in the area.


Mitch you do realise this is just a April fools joke yeah? dance
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Originally Posted By: MitchPee
Wow, it's really sad it has to get to this point. Sucks because some people can't control themselves everyone has to suffer. This really puts a damper on my wanting to live in the area.


suckered. Owned.
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ROFL.... there is always one in the bunch isn't there.

lol

 

It's my nephews birthday today.

If he was our child he would not have been happy... every year one of his brothers would have wrapped an empty box!

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