kkk 7 Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 Recently broke up with my girlfriend of a couple of years. Pretty hard breakup and making it more difficult because we work together. Anyone here ever be good friend with ex-es. Perhaps it's just not going to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 It's pretty rare, I know some people who have managed it, but mostly there is too much resentment for people to get past. Link to post Share on other sites
RobBright 35 Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 Am friends with two of my exes but only after having not seen them for about 5 years. No resentment anymore but there was for a few years between us. If you don't want to be friends then don't but would seriously suggest finding a new gig or place. Hell now is the best chance of your life to make a change that you've been waiting to do. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 need more details. The juicier the better. Was it due to something like this ? Again need the lowdown to make a lowdown suggestion. Link to post Share on other sites
JA2340 16 Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 I now (after 15 years or so) have a "somewhat less fraught" relationship with my ex. We now email irregularly about the kids (with whom I have closer ties, thank goodness!). None of this means that I'm going soft, She was a b!tch, still is in many respects, however the fact that her parents have passed away have mellowed her a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
bobby12 0 Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 JA - Her claws have blunted a little ober the years eh? KevKastle - I'm guessing form your post that you are not the free and easy type who could handle being with your new ex day in and day out. I think 75% couldnt handle it, I know I couldnt. You will start looking for clues - is she seeing someone else? nightmare, I'd find another job or try to force her out ;-) Link to post Share on other sites
shadowtec 0 Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 If it F@$ks, flies or floats. Then it is cheaper to rent Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 Originally Posted By: shadowtec If it F@$ks, flies or floats. Then it is cheaper to rent huh? Link to post Share on other sites
mitchpee 10 Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 Yup it usually takes a long time. I still barely talk to 2 of my pretty serious relationship ex's. I don't think I will ever be friends with them because I have no urge to talk to them, but you never know, life throws some funny curveballs. Link to post Share on other sites
mitchpee 10 Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 Good vibes though, best of luck! Just listen to some BB King and you'll be good to go. Link to post Share on other sites
kkk 7 Posted December 2, 2009 Author Share Posted December 2, 2009 Not sure about the BB King thing Good news this week, she's moving on to a different office from January. Link to post Share on other sites
mitchpee 10 Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 What's that one 90's song, every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end? Yeah I think that's applicable. I just kind of broke up with a girl, not serious at all, maybe a week or 2 of actual dating. I'm losing my faith in humanity, how about you? Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 A week or two, and you have lost your faith in humanity MitchPee?! Sensitive little soul aren't you! Head to the pub with your mates and get back on the horse (so to speak). The right girl will come along eventually - and probably when you least expect it. Just remember even the best relationships take effort to stay alive. Link to post Share on other sites
mitchpee 10 Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 The losing faith in humanity is over a course of several girls, over several years haha. This one just added to the pile. I am far from sensitive, most are just overwhelmingly dull and uninteresting. Where's that girl from the movies that stimulates me!? Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 I am actually really interested in this Mitch... It seems more common today that young people are finding it difficult to form and maintain happy and productive relationships...why is that? Is it because movies and TV and magazines with airbrushed beauties make expectations high - and yet a lot of those 'perfect' girls don't have a lot of substance...therefore you lose interest quickly? Or that those stunners can have any guy, so they move on regularly? Are we looking for constant excitement? And falling short? I don't have the answers -- married 20 years this month --- but this phenomenon has effected a lot of my class mates. At least half of the girls I went to school with remain unmarried and without children (and they are 40!)... I think that is unprecedented in history. Link to post Share on other sites
mitchpee 10 Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 What I can tell you is I do have pretty high standards. I realize that's part of the problem. Honestly, I can't carry on a conversation with anyone, it's like talking to a brick wall. Call me pretentious but I am easily annoyed by a lot of the girls I meet. I do meet some cool ones but I am usually turned off after a while. I have commitment issues basically can't keep entertained/satisfied with one person. Link to post Share on other sites
MrSingh 0 Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 Snowboard/ski more to help forget the ex. Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 Originally Posted By: MitchPee What I can tell you is I do have pretty high standards. I realize that's part of the problem. Yeah...but high standards in regard to what. Nothing wrong with wanting an exceptional partner! I know it is a shocker of a generalization, but I have mostly found the drop dead gorgeous males and females are often SO wrapped up in themselves that by the end of the night you'd rather plunge a knife through your heart than go home with them. It is amazing how much uglier a hot person can become when they open their mouth, and how much sexier a less striking person can become. Quote: Honestly, I can't carry on a conversation with anyone, it's like talking to a brick wall. Are you talking to the wrong people? Quote: Call me pretentious but I am easily annoyed by a lot of the girls I meet. I do meet some cool ones but I am usually turned off after a while. Not pretentious - if people are annoying they are annoying. But you need to widen your circle of people to talk to! Find people who you love to talk with - for hours. Quote: I have commitment issues basically can't keep entertained/satisfied with one person. Day to day a relationship needn't be like a theme park - do you enjoy downtime with a partner ...you know cuddled up under a blanket watching a movie after a big day on the slopes? Sounds like you just need to find a girl who knows who she is and has an interesting life on her own ... not someone who fawns over you and doesn't contribute to the relationship. Adoration is fine for a while - but gets annoying quickly - if you wanted that you would head to the RSPCA and adopt a dog. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
mitchpee 10 Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 All great points! The truth about the opening a mouth to make someone uglier. I have had a recent streak with this type haha. Texting too, if a girl texts me and uses horrible spelling/grammar I get rather turned off. I understand slang is acceptable but man do I hate reading how iz u? lol My circle of people I talk to is huge. I have way too many friends and I talk to every random person I get the chance to. At bars I constantly talk to different types of girls of different nationalities and social backgrounds. I'm not much of a down time cuddler. I'd rather be in a hot tub, beer in hand, watching tv or reading by myself. I am a dog person, funny you should mention. My boarder collie is perhaps the smartest girl I know . Maybe it's my degenerate side but I do not see myself getting married. I would like to have kids but the sheer fact that I would be spending that much time with one person is daunting. Maybe I'm being naive, but I have experienced love and not so sure it's for me haha. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 In my younger years I used to date several girls at the same time, but not have a "steady" It's important that, not having the one who calls herself your girlfriend. Monday would be a rather relaxing drink with girl A and an early night. Tuesday with B, Wednesday with C, Thursday with D, etc... culminating in a very late party night on Sat. Sunday was for resting and doing some laundry. That killed me. So one day I stopped. Only communicated with close friends and tried to stay in as much as poss. And the one turned up as a freind of a friend of a friend. I called her to ask her out. She said she'd love to but would be on a business trip for the next week. Bye bye. The next week I called her. She said she'd love to but was very busy trying to catch up with work. Bye bye. Well I persisted and eventually got a date. Now look at me. Link to post Share on other sites
Tubby Beaver 209 Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Originally Posted By: thursday In my younger years I used to date several girls at the same time, but not have a "steady" It's important that, not having the one who calls herself your girlfriend. Monday would be a rather relaxing drink with girl A and an early night. Tuesday with B, Wednesday with C, Thursday with D, etc... culminating in a very late party night on Sat. Sunday was for resting and doing some laundry. That killed me. So one day I stopped. Only communicated with close friends and tried to stay in as much as poss. And the one turned up as a freind of a friend of a friend. I called her to ask her out. She said she'd love to but would be on a business trip for the next week. Bye bye. The next week I called her. She said she'd love to but was very busy trying to catch up with work. Bye bye. Well I persisted and eventually got a date. Now look at me. wow, she really made you work...in fact maybe the 1st date was a pity date just to get you to bugger off....I bet her next excuse was gonna be washing her hair.....but then she met you and you broke out the A-grade Thursday Personality...kidknapped and brainwashed her for a year and then got married....ah the sweet smell of romance!! Link to post Share on other sites
Yuki's Passion 1 Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Originally Posted By: MitchPee What I can tell you is I do have pretty high standards. I realize that's part of the problem. Honestly, I can't carry on a conversation with anyone, it's like talking to a brick wall. Call me pretentious but I am easily annoyed by a lot of the girls I meet. I do meet some cool ones but I am usually turned off after a while. I have commitment issues basically can't keep entertained/satisfied with one person. ha, women are just like ice cream, so many flavors, so little time to eat it all Eventually you find one you like, then you get sick of eating it though. Ive been dating a girl now for a little while and by far the most expensive girl Ive dated...she doesnt even offer to pay Link to post Share on other sites
Tex 3 Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Run Creek Boy... RUN VERY FAST! A friend of mine had a basic system he would vett all girls he dated many years ago. He would always unlock the car door and open it for the lady (Key style....before technology caught up ). But if they didn't lean across and unlock the door for him to get in... things were off to a real bad start, If they didn't at least OFFER to chip in some cash for dinner... well you get the picture.... Damn I am old... telling stories that only people who have lived and experienced manual lock/unlock car etiquette HA Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 I would never data a girl that was "expensive". Not because I don't want to spend/share money on someone, or that I don't have the money, more because the idea that a girl is "expensive" is just a really really bad start and more often than not says a huge amount about what she's like. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 On a first-ish date, I would only ever take her out to drinks. If it ticks good, then maybe suggest dinner. Otherwise, after drinks bye bye. Link to post Share on other sites
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