grungy-gonads 54 Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 How dare they say a Morgan is Status Quo!!! (Car magazine, so I believe) Alfa Romeo = Sugababes (A beautiful facsimile of better days) Aston Martin = Bros (All three look identical) Audi = Coldplay (Slick, unstoppable, slightly annoying) Bentley = Barry White (The walrus we love) BMW = Kanye West (Brash, borderline genius) Bristol = Sir Edward Elgar (Of historical interest only) Bugatti = The Beatles (Peerless) Cadillac = Garth Brooks (Loved in America, ignored elsewhere) Caterham = AC/DC (Been going for decades with just the one riff) Chevrolet = Michael Jackson (Talented American that’s become a freak) Chrysler = Bon Jovi (Living on a prayer) Citroen = Oasis (Once massive, always threatening a comeback) Corvette = Bruce Springsteen (The boss) Daihatsu = Ryuichi Sakamoto (Under the radar) Dodge = New Kids On The Block (Unwelcome reunion tour underway) Farbio = Fleet Foxes (Up and coming Brits) Ferrari = U2 (Often brilliant, often pompous) FIAT = Paul Weller (Veers between Jam highs and Style Council lows) Ford = Kylie Minogue (Honorary Brit, hugely popular, great chassis) Honda = David Bowie (Keeps pushing new stuff but we want the old stuff back) Hummer = Rage Against The Machine (That’s what everyone does) Hyundai = Busted (Bubblegum stuff but not without some credibility) Jaguar = Tony Christie (Surprising us after years in the wilderness) Jeep = Metallica (Ponderous and bombastic) Kia = Leona Lewis (Characterless machinery gaining popularity fast) Koenigsegg = Spinal Tap (Turned up to 11) Lamborghini = Meatloaf (Bat out of hell) Land-Rover = The Clash (Utterly brilliant but people spit at them) Lexus = Kraftwerk (Highly technical, largely forgotten) Lotus = Queen (Much loved Brits who lost a charismatic leader) Maserati = Dean Martin (Cool, benefits from association with a maestro) Maybach = The KLF (Pointlessly burned millions) Mazda = The Prodigy (On the edge of the mainstream) Mercedes-Benz = Dire Straits (Men of advancing years still love them) MG = Take That (Back from the dead but unlikely to be around for long) Mini = The Bootleg Beatles (a tribute act) Mitsubishi = Utah Saints (Marries tech with raw appeal and a sporadic back catalogue) Morgan = Status Quo (The 12 bar blues of car production) Nissan = Amy Winehouse (Good range but all over the place) Noble = Diesel Park West (Leicester based, had a few hits, not planning more) Perodua = The Wurzels (You. Just. Wouldn’t) Porsche = Rolling Stones (Thoroughbred, cool, bankable, peerless) Renault = Roxy Music (Once at the cutting edge, now plain and cosy) Rolls-Royce = The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra (Classic, vast, British and you can’t even afford to hire it) SAAB = Robbie Williams (Haven’t had a proper hit since the 1990’s) Seat = Santana (Latin rhythms) Skoda = The Sex Pistols (a serious threat to the established order) Smart = The Small Faces (small) Ssangyong = A drunken karaoke singer (someone make them stop) Subaru = Red Hot Chili Peppers (used to rock hard but have lost their edge of late) Suzuki = Madness (A lot of fun but not meant to be taken seriously) Toyota = Band Aid (You can’t really go wrong) Vauxhall = Elton John (Decades of uncoolness but still here) Volkswagen = Dido (Bland, loved by the middle classes) Volvo = ABBA (middle of the road, Swedish (obviously)) Link to post Share on other sites
nzlegend 1 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 No led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd?? Led Zeppelin = FJ Holden - Timeless classic. Pink Floyd = Holden Commodore - stood the test of time Link to post Share on other sites
BagOfCrisps 24 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 Toyota = Band Aid (You can’t really go wrong) WTF?! Link to post Share on other sites
Jynxx 4 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 They all break down or end up making rapping noise.... Link to post Share on other sites
69 5 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 Toyotas are very well built (mass market) cars, what do you mean? Link to post Share on other sites
2pints-mate 0 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 I'll have a Bros please! Link to post Share on other sites
2pints-mate 0 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 Hmmm, think not 2 of them maybe Link to post Share on other sites
gareth_oau 2 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 saw a quote the other day stating that driving a toyota is like driving a refrigerator. incredibly well engineered and built, but boring and lifeless. unfortunately, they will still be on the road in a 1000 years to come! Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 it is a bit boring, but not as boring as freakin' Band Aid. What a load of tosh. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 the Lexus GS450h, that is real technical. Faster than an M5 but nobody would suspect it. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted March 5, 2009 Author Share Posted March 5, 2009 Utter tosh as you said. Sorry! Link to post Share on other sites
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