Tubby Beaver 209 Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Pies.....this one's for you!! WHEN Mandy Mountain’s latest fella recoiled in horror while giving her oral pleasure, she wondered what on earth was wrong. Only when the ashen-faced bloke emerged from between her thunderous thighs clutching the flattened remains of a KITTEN did she realise this was no ordinary bedroom mishap. The 55-stone blubbergut had earlier SQUASHED the unfortunate mog and its grisly fate only came to light when her beau discovered the pancake -flat cat in her folds of flab. Mandy, 25, revealed: “Poor little Buttons must have suffocated when I rolled over. I never even noticed. “It wasn’t even my kitten – I was looking after him for my neighbours. “My boyfriend was going down on me when he shrieked and leapt back, sobbing. DEAD “He must have been in there dead for some time, at least three or hour hours. “We gave him a proper burial, and broke the news to my neighbours. But I feel so terrible about it. I can’t apologise enough. “And I’m now willing to try anything to lose some weight. This is the wake-up call I needed.” But Mandy – real name Amanda Simmons – makes a decent living from being so big. She earns up to £60,000 a year posing for men with a fetish for larger ladies. The 64EE babe, from Charleston, West Virginia, has to scoff a staggering 20,000 calories a day in order to maintain her terrifying tonnage. That’s the equivalent of 36 Big Mac burgers, or twelve giant pepperoni pizzas – every single day. Mandy’s chunky thighs measure an amazing six feet in circumference – the same size as a fully-grown larch. The model explained: “I’ve never had a real job, but I’ve always been able to make money modelling. “Men love my buttery lumps and bumps. And I enjoy being worshipped like some sort of massive goddess. “But I also love animals. I’d never even hurt a fly. So to accidentally kill a gorgeous little kitten is too much for me to take. “And my boyfriend Clint’s taken it bad too. He’s started wetting again.” Link to post Share on other sites
Chriselle 158 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Quality writing, too! Cronkite and Murrow would be impressed..... Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted October 18, 2013 Author Share Posted October 18, 2013 Link to post Share on other sites
pie-eater 207 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Good find! Link to post Share on other sites
seemore 66 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Thats Catastrophic Link to post Share on other sites
Chriselle 158 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Poor pussy...... Link to post Share on other sites
brit-gob 9 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Poor neighbour! Link to post Share on other sites
Tubby Beaver 209 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 That pussy must be an awful mess Link to post Share on other sites
Chriselle 158 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 One things for sure.........can't call the dude a pussy. Link to post Share on other sites
Munch 1 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 I need to start thinking about more lovelier pussies! Link to post Share on other sites
pie-eater 207 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Link to post Share on other sites
hellyer 216 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 The boyfriend was lucky to make it out! Wonder if he found the spot he was looking for? Link to post Share on other sites
Chriselle 158 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Grungy Gonads is the only guy I'd put my money on having a chance of finding that spot. Like finding a bean in a cornfield... Link to post Share on other sites
hellyer 216 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Have to roll her in corn flour to find the wet spot Link to post Share on other sites
muikabochi 208 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Oh dear. We need to get back on track with other important news. Any word on the Olympic bid yet? Link to post Share on other sites
Tubby Beaver 209 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 I think she may have sat on that as well Link to post Share on other sites
Alexander L 80 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 sad Link to post Share on other sites
Metabo Oyaji 71 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 I did not need to know that. Link to post Share on other sites
Alexander L 80 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 unseen feature in next release Link to post Share on other sites
hellyer 216 Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 I just saw on the television that The Japanese womens relay team just broke the world record for the 4 X 100 at the FINA World Titles shortcourse swim meet in Dubai I don't get 'short course", i.e. held in a 25m pool. Why don't they swim the 50m length like other grown ups?? It's rediculous - all those extra somersaults in the longer races - they must get dizzy. And if we put them in a 50m pool will they crank a Saulto halfway along? Shortcourse? In Dubai?? Your joking me - everything else is mega-fricking humungous!! I have had my say. Link to post Share on other sites
griller 9 Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 Feel better? Anyone on here been to Dubai? Link to post Share on other sites
wakaran 1 Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 If politicians here want to get some publicity, all they need to do is get on down to Yasunari (?) shrine. Instant national news. Link to post Share on other sites
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