Important news of the day thread

[7-11 2]

Patrick Stewart made headlines earlier this week when he consumed his first ever slice of pizza, at the ripe old age of 72.

 

And now the Star Trek star has revealed why he indulged in the calorific tomato and cheese treat.

 

In the same breathe he once again explained that while he had never had a slice of pizza before, he had indeed eaten the food in the past.

 

'People misunderstood. There was a school of thought that I had eaten my first pizza, but of course how could that possibly be true? I would have had to have stayed locked up in a cellar,' he explained.

 

 

[pie-eater 207]

Well by jove I certainly misunderstood.

I was going round thinking that he has never even tasted pizza, and I went round telling people too.

Do I feel the fool this morning after these revelations!

 

[Tubby Beaver 209]

Well by jove I certainly misunderstood.

I was going round thinking that he has never even tasted pizza, and I went round telling people too.

Do I feel the fool this morning after these revelations!

 

 

[Karnidge 2]

Important stuff indeed!

 

The Mail ran a story yesterday saying that someone close to No 10 in the UK was shagging. But they can't say who or anything at all about it.

 

Way to get masses of traffic.

[iiyamadude 6]

Diner jailed over pubic hair fraud

 

Lee Tyers, 40, imprisoned for a fortnight for sprinkling pubic hair over half-eaten lamb bhuna to avoid paying for it

 

A man who sprinkled his pubic hair over a half-eaten curry in an attempt to not pay for it has been jailed.

Lee Tyers was caught on camera adding the extra ingredient to his meal before complaining to staff.

The 40-year-old was in Jamal's Indian Restaurant, Middlesbrough, when he called over a member of staff and claimed he had found hair in his lamb bhuna. But the restauranteur, Jamal Chowdhury explained that the hair on his plate was brown yet all the staff had black hair, so Tyers left without paying.

Chowdhury said: "He showed me his plate and I said: 'I gave you a clean plate.' He had eaten everything, but then on the side of the plate there was some brown hair. It was separate and not mixed into the food. I took it under the light and showed him it was brown hair and said that all the staff in the restaurant have black hair."

Officials at Teesside magistrates court confirmed Tyers was found guilty of fraud by false representation and sentenced to 14 days in jail. He was ordered to pay £39.55 in compensation.

[Tubby Beaver 209]

[Alexander L 80]

£39.55? How many pints did he have?

[SKI 15]

Couldn't make it up

[oo 1]

It was every bank manager’s nightmare come true: a German bank employee nodded off at his computer terminal while making what was supposed to be a minor money transfer and inadvertently drained €222m (£190m) from an account – without even realising it.

 

The hapless employee appeared before an industrial tribunal in the state of Hesse today to explain his actions. He told the tribunal that he had intended to transfer €62.40 from a retired employee’s account but “momentarily fell asleep” and ended up transferring €222,222,222.22.

 

He said the error appeared to have occurred because he dozed off with his finger on the “2” key of his computer keyboard. The tribunal heard how the culprit failed to notice his mistake, which was only spotted and rectified by bank staff hours later.

 

A colleague of the employee who made the mistake, a 48-year-old woman responsible for overseeing the bank’s outgoing payments, was subsequently sacked for allowing the error to slip through unnoticed. Yesterday’s case was brought because she claimed that she was unfairly dismissed. The tribunal found in her favour and said she should be reinstated.

 

[minus 1]

Jiroemon Kimura, the world's oldest person, and the oldest man to have ever lived, has died at the age of 116.

Kimura – who was born on 19 April 1897, when Queen Victoria was on the British throne – died of natural causes early on Wednesday, Japanese media said.

The Kyoto prefecture resident became the oldest man in recorded history in late December 2012 at the age of 115 years and 253 days, following the death of Dina Manfredini, an Italian-American who lived in Iowa. The longest-living person in history was Jeanne Calment, a French woman who died in 1997 at the age of 122.

Kimura died in hospital in his hometown of Kyotango, local government officials said. He had been receiving treatment for pneumonia since late last month.

In a sign of Japan's extraordinary longevity, his successor as the world's oldest person is compatriot Misao Okawa, a 115-year-old Osaka woman who already holds the title of the world's oldest woman.

Until his death Kimura was one of only a dozen people alive who were born in the 1890s. He lived through the reign of four Japanese emperors and the administrations of 61 prime ministers.

Kimura conceded that he spent a lot of time in bed at the home he shared with his grandson's widow, Eiko Kimura, who served him his favourite breakfast of rice porridge and miso soup.

He put his longevity down to waking early, eating small amounts, reading the newspaper and watching parliamentary debates on television.

 

!

 

Rest in peace old dude.

[Alexander L 80]

our own forums codger is coming up to that age

[brit-gob 9]

Man calls Solihull police to complain about prostitute's looks

 

A man has been warned after he dialled 999 to complain about a prostitute's looks after meeting her.

 

West Midlands Police said they were contacted by the caller who said he "wished to report her for breaching the Sale of Goods Act".

 

The force said the call was received at about 19:30 BST on Tuesday complaining that the woman was not as attractive as she had claimed.

 

Officers have now sent the man a letter warning him about wasting police time.

 

West Midlands Police said the man had claimed he met the woman in a hotel car park.

 

"The caller claimed that the woman had made out she was better looking than she actually was and he wished to report her for breaching the Sale of Goods Act," a spokesperson for the force said.

 

"When he raised this issue with the woman concerned, she allegedly took his car keys, ran away from the car and threw them back at him, prompting him to call police."

 

'It was unbelievable'

During the call, the man can be heard to say: "I've arranged a meeting with her, but beforehand I've asked her for an honest description, otherwise when I get there I'm not going to use her services.

 

"Basically she has misdescribed herself, misrepresented herself totally.

 

"She was angry because she obviously thinks I owe her a living or something."

 

Sgt Jerome Moran, based at Solihull police station, called the man back to offer some advice.

 

He said: "It was unbelievable - he genuinely believed he had done nothing wrong and that the woman should have been investigated by police for misrepresentation.

 

"I told him that she'd not committed any offences and that it was his actions, in soliciting for sex, that were in fact illegal."

 

Despite the man refusing to give his details, police were able to identify him and have sent him a letter warning him about his actions.

 

The Sale of Goods Act 1979 gives consumers legal rights, stipulating goods which are sold must be of satisfactory quality, be fit for purpose and must match the seller's description.

[1 4]

 

Well, he was obviously disappointed!

[Tubby Beaver 209]

The customer is always right

[Alexander L 80]

in a pub carpark? Bloody drink driving.

[sanjo 2]

I think photos are needed.

[Tubby Beaver 209]

Pies........over to you

[Alexander L 80]

c'mon them pics must be awesome.

[pie-eater 207]

[Chriselle 158]

[iiyamadude 6]

This was how she advertised herself

 

[HelperElfMissy 42]

Photoshopped ... Surely...

[brit-gob 9]

Hair stockings, anyone? Forget a hair shirt, or even a hair belt – they’re so Tudor – no, the hot trend for young women this summer is a pair of leggings that make the wearer look like they’ve lost their Ladyshave and embraced a more natural look. Are they a fashion item, or a deterrent? It is difficult to tell – perhaps they are both. Indeed, many men find the garments worn at the higher end of the fashion world a deterrent in any case (straight-jacket and transparent kilt on a first date, anyone?), so there is already some degree of crossover.

 

 

Maybe they are for women with leg-hair envy. After years of shaving and waxing, the hair follicles are so weak that even if the average western woman wanted to grow a full thigh-beard herself, she probably couldn’t, and so for those who wish to experiment with a new look, here is the answer.

 

 

They first appeared on a microblogging Chinese site Sina Weibo(China’s version of Twitter), and have become a viral sensation, with one user @HappyZhangJiang describing them as ‘anti-pervert stockings’. Trend-watcher ChinaSMACK has offered them to the world, and the world has said, ‘urgh, gross.’

 

 

Perhaps their primary function is to put off the more unenlightened members of the male sex, who will be so repulsed by the sight of a nubile young girl with gorilla pins that they will forget to assault her, but maybe the truth is more subtle than that.

 

[grungy-gonads 54]

This was how she advertised herself

 

 

 

I think I would have been upset too!

[DumbStick 13]