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Important news of the day thread

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Bavarian farmers are angry that their famous Alpine dairy cows will apparently have to wear nappies under European Union environmental laws.

 

Johann Huber, whose family has farmed on the mountain slopes of Gmund am Tegernsee for over 400 years, has begun putting home made nappies on his 18 diary cows to avoid falling foul of an EU fertiliser ban.

 

Mr Huber said that his cow Doris had behaved well when he fitted her with a home made bovine nappy to prevent her dropping cow pats on the Alpine slopes.

 

"We have no standard nappies, they have not been developed commercially yet," he said.

 

The Bavarian farm union is protesting against the EU nitrates directive that, they claim, has led to a ban on fertilisers, or the manure left behind by their cows, on any mountain slope with a gradient of more than 15 per cent.

 

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What's that mo?

 

It is not, most definitely not, a fan, which would be illegal to distribute during a political campaign. It is merely informational material in the entirely coincidental shape of a fan. Although should one interpret it as a fan, one is free to use it as such.

 

Hard to do the Monty Python-esque dialogue justice by just describing it, so here is the original

(picture John Cleese as Ren Hou, and Michael Palin as Matsushima Midori):

 

Summary:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8b5-Z3nBC8

 

Uncut:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNszbfjSJEQ

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A British backpacker troubled by weeks of nosebleeds found a three-inch long leech had been living up her nose for more than a month.

Daniela Liverani believed the persistent nosebleeds she suffered while travelling around south-east Asia were down to a burst blood vessel from a motorbike crash.

Days after returning to her Edinburgh home, however, she spotted an object in one nostril that she first dismissed as congealed blood.

The 24-year-old graduate was rushed to A&E at Edinburgh's Royal Infirmary after realising she had an animal up her nose.

Miss Liverani, originally from Glasgow, told the Sunday Mail: "Two weeks before I came home from Asia, I started having nosebleeds but I'd fallen off a motorbike so thought I'd burst a blood vessel.

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Having an animal up your nose would be a tad uncomfortable...................................still it's not like it was a ferret or something.

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Four years after disappearing, a pet parrot has returned home in Torrance, California, having ditched his British accent and switched to Spanish.

 

Nigel, an African Grey parrot, was reunited with his owner, Darren Chick, last week, the Daily Breeze reported.

 

It is not clear what happened to Nigel during his absence, although he now frequently calls for someone called Larry, the newspapers report said.

 

The bird is said to be well though it did bite Mr Chick upon their reunion.

 

The Daily Breeze said the bird was found in the garden of Jonathan and Julissa Sperling who own a dog grooming business in Torrance.

 

Mrs Sperling told the newspaper that when she found Nigel, "he was singing and talking without control... He was barking like the dogs. I'm from Panama and he was saying, 'What happened?' in Spanish."

 

Whilst looking for the bird's owner, the couple saw an online appeal from Teresa Micco, a local vet whose own African Grey had gone missing.

 

When she realised Nigel was not her parrot she managed to link his microchip to Mr Chick.

 

The shocked owner told the newspaper: "He's doing perfect. It's really weird, I knew it was him from the minute I saw him."

 

This is the fifth parrot reunion facilitated by Ms Micco whose own bird Benjamin has been missing for 9 months,

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A family has been left “deeply traumatised” after one of the world’s most poisonous and aggressive spiders was set loose in their south London home following an online delivery from Waitrose. A lethal Brazilian wandering spider had been hiding in a bunch of bananas when it was delivered to the house, and was sitting on a sack of eggs containing thousands of babies.

The father of the family, Tim, who did not give his surname, spotted the spider while unpacking the shopping and dropped the bananas into the fruit bowl in shock – inadvertently trapping the spider’s leg. The spider tore off its leg in an attempt to escape and hid from sight, sparking a frantic hunt throughout the home as the couple and their two sons, aged seven and eight, fled the house.

“Although people might think these things are funny, I keep thinking that the spider could have killed me or my son if he had gone to get a banana,” Tim told the Mail on Sunday.

Tim took a photograph and discovered online that the spider – whose Greek scientific name translates as “murderess” – was, according to the Guinness Book of Records, the world’s most venomous.

The RSPCA said it could not handle such a dangerous animal and advised the the couple to call the police. The police said they could not remove the spider, whose venom can kill in two hours.

Waitrose then sent a pest expert – but when he followed the couple into the kitchen, they found that the spider had ripped off its own leg and had moved out of sight. To make matters worse, when he lifted up the bananas, the family saw a sac containing hundreds of spider eggs.

“We had no idea where it had gone,” said Tim. “‘We were terrified. We got ourselves and our kids out of the house straight away.”

Pest expert Steve Trippett, who described the spider as “hardcore”, put the eggs in a freezer to kill them and, armed with a 3ft stick, found the spider hiding in the fruit bowl. The spider became aggressive standing on its back legs and showing its fangs. But using his stick, Trippett manoeuvred the creature into a heavy plastic box, which was placed inside two other boxes. It is understood the spider was taken to a scientific centre abroad.

The family were too traumatised by their experience to remain in the house, and spent the night with friends.

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Hey, this little Brazilian ain't all bad.....

 

Aside from causing intense pain, the venom of the spider can also cause priapism in humans. Erections resulting from the bite are uncomfortable, can last for many hours and can lead to impotence. A component of the venom (Tx2-6) is being studied for use in erectile dysfunction treatments

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