pie-eater 207 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 I met Nessie over summer when I was up there. Fine chick. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 nostalgia for Eddie Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted August 28, 2009 Author Share Posted August 28, 2009 THIS little lot are totally BONK-ers 1) Digging the dirt Now this guy just couldn't resist his own hardware. Construction worker Justin Dunn and his partner Nicole Albert were caught by passers-by who spotted their naked rears going at it on a top of a crane. The pair bricked it when officers called them down on a public address system but claimed they were up there taking pictures. Thankfully, the crane was their private(s) property, so the pair couldn't be charged. 2) Judge for yourself Donald Thompson, a judge in Oklahoma had some strange habits when presiding over cases. He liked nothing better than to get a penis pump out and use it while charging criminals. Witnesses at a 2006 trial in Oklahoma gave their own verdict on his wayward behaviour, after he used the pump four times and exposed himself during jury trials. He was jailed for four years and disbarred. We're glad there wasn't a hung jury too. 3) Sex confessions When a group of Catholics celebrated mass one morning in 2008, they were surprised at the strange grunts coming from the confession box. Italian cops were called at a church in the northern city of Cesena, to investigate - only to find an amorous couple having a ceremony of their own. "We are atheists and for us, having sex in church is like doing it any other place," the couple, a 31-year-old labourer and 32-year-old teacher, argued. Bishop Antonio Lanfranchi of Cesena-Sarsina said the couple's behavior was "an outrage of notable proportions which bespeaks unutterable squalor". A special ceremony was later held to purify the confession box. 4) Dutch courage One Dutch couple just couldn't resist cop-ping off in a police car park. Little did they know, the bonnet they'd chosen to bonk on actually had policemen inside. The PCs got out of their car, adjusted their helmets and asked the couple to stop - but laws in The Netherlands mean they couldn't arrest them. Luckily the man involved started hurling abuse and was quickly escorted to a police cell. Talk about getting caught with your trousers down. 5) War mammorial What better way to pay tribute to those killed in battle than by filming yourselves naked at a memorial site? A French couple were fined 1,000 Euros for making a pornographic video at Vimy Ridge, one of the most revered memorials of the First World War. The randy pair, who confessed to enjoying 'sex games', were also given a four-month suspended sentence. 6) A good tramming One randy couple were so bored waiting for their tram from Croydon, South London to Beckenham Junction they thought a quickie was the only way to pass the time. The 29-year-old woman and her 17-year-old toyboy got naked and started having sex in the street. Local cops came after a CCTV camera alerted them. 7) Bad training There's risqu・sex - and risking your life. Last year, a South African couple decided it was time to take their shenanigans to the next level (or should we say platform). They got frisky on a track directly in the path of a moving train. As the train pulled into the station, the conductor shouted for the couple to move. But they were so caught in the action, they decided to finish off. "They continued with their business," he told the Sowetan paper. The man died at the scene and the woman died later at hospital. Let's hope it was the best sex of their (very short) lives. 8) Taking the Michael We all know how the story goes. An eighties pop star walks into a public toilet for a bit of Wham bam, thank you man and gets caught by undercover cops. Missing Georgie from our top ten would have been a travesty. 9) Good clean fun One Polish worker got caught stuck in a very awkward position. Working late at a children's hospital, he decided to end his stressful day with a bit of hoovering. Pity the only thing Henry was sucking up was his nether regions. A passing security guard saw the man defiling the machine and requested that he clean himself and the Hoover up before leaving the premises. 10) Right royal affair A randy couple were nicked earlier this year as they had a steamy sex session - on the Queen's front lawn. Crowds of astonished tourists watched as the drunken pair stripped and got down and dirty on a private grass bank at Windsor Castle, where Her Majesty was in residence. They kept at it for 20 minutes before armed Royal Protection Squad officers stepped in to take down their particulars. Link to post Share on other sites
foreversnow 5 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 This is old news but I always found it to be fascinating. A woman in America was charged with the murder of her boyfriend and police in court stated there was no way they would have been able to have solved the case other than the fact that she bragged to a friend!! The accused had a fight with her boyfriend - She Stabbed him and killed him. She then took his body out and put it through the his woodchipping machine. She then cleaned the machine WHILE his chipped remains were in a firepit burning. THEN she mixed up a batch of concrete and stirred through his burnt - chipped remains and poured a slab. Once the concrete dried she then took to it with a jack hammer and hammered it into little pieces. She then drove from the East Coast to the West Coast and threw little pieces of him out the whole way. This woman really has some anger issues and should have kept her mouth shut!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
hellyer 216 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Interesting, any idea how they proved it, apart from hearsay that is? Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 Sounds like a good one. Must remember that. Nice to have a chipper handy too. Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 News of the Day or "DOH" Quotes.... it was hard pick where to stick this one. Quote: Japan's next prime minister might be nicknamed "The Alien", but it is his wife who claims to have had a close encounter with another world. "While my body was asleep, I think my soul rode on a triangular-shaped UFO and went to Venus," Miyuki Hatoyama, the wife of premier-in-waiting Yukio Hatoyama, wrote in a book published last year. "It was a very beautiful place and it was really green." Ms Miyuki, 66, described the extraterrestrial experience, which she said took place some 20 years ago, in a book entitled "Very Strange Things I've Encountered". When she awoke, Japan's next first lady wrote, she told her now ex-husband that she had just been to Venus. He advised her that it was probably just a dream. "My current husband has a different way of thinking," she wrote. "He would surely say 'Oh, that's great'." Link to post Share on other sites
hellyer 216 Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 "My current husband has a different way of thinking," she wrote. "He would surely say 'Oh, that's great'." Well I am glad he did not say "That's great but I've been to Uranus" Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 I think he probably said "Oh, thats great" but wasnt actually listening to her. At least Husband #1 was paying attention. Link to post Share on other sites
hellyer 216 Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 I resemble that remark -We males all pay attention. But only to one thing at a time. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted September 3, 2009 Author Share Posted September 3, 2009 Quote: FELLAS in Glasgow buy more extra-large condoms than anywhere else in the UK, store chiefs revealed yesterday. In a big boost for Scotland's largest city, known for its hardmen, Tesco bosses reckon blokes have been snapping up the new supersize Durex. The supermarket giant brought in the XL brand last month due to a surge in customer demand. And last night a spokeswoman said sales in Glasgow were up 25 per cent week on week. Normal condoms have an average length of 8ins (205mm). But the new ones stretch to 8ï½½ins (215mm) - and are 1mm wider. Tesco Healthcare buyer Nicola Evans said: "Demand has been a success, especially north of the border in Scotland. "In the last year there has been a very strong demand for a larger sized condom and the sales prove that there is a market for them in the UK." But women shoppers at TescoEXTRA in Springburn, Glasgow, were not so sure. . . Customer support operator Lynne Scally, 29, said: "I wouldn't say the men of Glasgow are needing them. Not in my experience anyway!" Council worker Becky Edmunds, 29, on Port Dundas, reckoned sales were fuelled by men on an ego trip. She said: "I can safely say I've never encountered a man who needed one. "I reckon they might be buying them to put on their bathroom shelves to show off." Link to post Share on other sites
bobby12 0 Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 I wonder how well a new "XS" size would sell. Link to post Share on other sites
pie-eater 207 Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 They could just import them from here. (So I've heard) Link to post Share on other sites
Tubby Beaver 209 Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 Originally Posted By: grungy-gonads Quote: FELLAS in Glasgow buy more extra-large condoms than anywhere else in the UK, store chiefs revealed yesterday. In a big boost for Scotland's largest city, known for its hardmen, Tesco bosses reckon blokes have been snapping up the new supersize Durex. The supermarket giant brought in the XL brand last month due to a surge in customer demand. And last night a spokeswoman said sales in Glasgow were up 25 per cent week on week. Normal condoms have an average length of 8ins (205mm). But the new ones stretch to 8ï½½ins (215mm) - and are 1mm wider. Tesco Healthcare buyer Nicola Evans said: "Demand has been a success, especially north of the border in Scotland. "In the last year there has been a very strong demand for a larger sized condom and the sales prove that there is a market for them in the UK." But women shoppers at TescoEXTRA in Springburn, Glasgow, were not so sure. . . Customer support operator Lynne Scally, 29, said: "I wouldn't say the men of Glasgow are needing them. Not in my experience anyway!" Council worker Becky Edmunds, 29, on Port Dundas, reckoned sales were fuelled by men on an ego trip. She said: "I can safely say I've never encountered a man who needed one. "I reckon they might be buying them to put on their bathroom shelves to show off." One of the reasons I dislike Glasgow, this urban myth that all Glaswegians are mentalists!! One thing about Glaswegians is that they talk bullshit, so no doubt that is what is going on with all the XL buying......maybe they just want really big balloons! Link to post Share on other sites
hellyer 216 Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 The 8 inch won't fit me. Maybe I could use it twice Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 ...what?...doubled over? Link to post Share on other sites
Tubby Beaver 209 Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 disgusting story alert (quite a danger too actually) I know someone, who is not a drug taker , who has used someone else's USED condom...........how disgusting and against everything you can think of is that!! Link to post Share on other sites
Ezorisu 0 Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 Nasty! Link to post Share on other sites
RobBright 35 Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 Depends - was it already opened/used? Link to post Share on other sites
Jynxx 4 Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 mate, that seriously is Other extreme. I knew some japa boys in high school who would put 2 on. Double layered Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 to be sure, to be sure eh? Jynxx. Link to post Share on other sites
snowbender 3 Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 Originally Posted By: Tubby Beaver disgusting story alert (quite a danger too actually) I know someone, who is not a drug taker , who has used someone else's USED condom...........how disgusting and against everything you can think of is that!! That is just not right. Link to post Share on other sites
pie-eater 207 Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 Quote: The Royal Mail has become the latest major business to sign up to 10:10, the national climate change campaign to reduce carbon emissions in the UK by 10% in 2010. Important point - they are doing this by going on strike, not delivering anything and doing sod all Cunning plan! Link to post Share on other sites
blinkin'ek 0 Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 Breaking news THERE'S one film MEGAN FOX won't be playing the lead in anytime soon - her own sex tape. The Transformers star has vowed never to record herself doing the deed as it will put her off nookie life. Megan said: "Ugh, never! That's the last thing I want to see - what I look like having sex. "It would take one shot of me not looking good and I would not be able to have sex ever again, as I would always just see myself looking like a hippo having sex." Link to post Share on other sites
1 4 Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 Damn. I now go on strike for the day. Link to post Share on other sites
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