mayhem22 0 Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 I agree with AK. Maybe, Oyuki, like you and some others have said, your girlfriend's definition of feminism is really the issue here? Did you ask her what she thinks "feminism" means? I know a lot of women even at home who are reluctant to label themselves feminists as such, but would be quick to assert their right to live their lives the way they want, without any dictation from society/the men in their lives as to how they should go about it. Maybe your girlfriend equates feminism with aggressiveness and lack of femininity? I think that's a common misconception about what feminism really is, which is a shame. But common at home too. As a woman, as far as I'm concerned, feminism means that I and any other woman can make choices and move my life in the direction I want without being hindered in any aspect by my gender. As can any man, without being hindered by his. Link to post Share on other sites
mayhem22 0 Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 Oops! I was way behind. I was only on page one! so, looks like you clarified then! Good Link to post Share on other sites
SirJibAlot 0 Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 My wife is happy to live the life of a 'housewife'. It really hurts her feelings when western women (feminists) degrade the term housewive to make it seem like a dirty word. She has no desire to have a career or do 'mens' work...she's happy to leave that to me and she's happy to iron, clean house, and cook. So the problem that I have with feminists is that they push thier point of view on others and degrade women that don't seem to support thier 'cause'. I'm all for equality - I agree with AK that freedom for woman to choose how to live thier life without descrimination is the real goal. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 There is real confusion for the term "Feminist" and "Lesbian". They intermingle on the occular perspective. Link to post Share on other sites
daver 0 Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 Thursday, that's just asisine. SJA, i went to a VERY feminist school, with a very progressive women's studies department, and as such was involved not by choice into many discussions regarding this issue. your wife wants to be a housewife, and has made the choice to do so. that's great. especially if you appreciate the hard work she does. and most "feminists" would agree. however, what about all the women who have not been given a choice to do so, or all the women who have never actually been educated or encouraged to believe they have other options available to them? it is quite easy for a women to say she wants to be a house wife when all her life she has been led to believe it is the only respectable option for her. and back to the issue of appreciation, i suspect most house wives, in this country and elsewhere, are very, very under appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
daver 0 Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 sorry thursday, i get it now. i'm a little slow before i have my morning coffee. i thought you were suggesting too often they are the same thing, in a negative light towards both feminism and lesbianism. (if you were do that then i don't retract my statement) people tend to presume feminism means militancy. a sort of passe ideology. Link to post Share on other sites
SirJibAlot 0 Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 Like I said...equal rights/equal opportunity. But they shouldn't force thier optinion on other woman and make others feel bad or that they are "slaves" when they choose and enjoy taking care of their house, thier family, and thier husband. I GREATLY appreciate the hard work that she does and let her know often. I was engaged to a 'career woman' previously that was quite femenist, almost militant. She wouldn't let me open the car door for her and she actually refused to do certain things around the house (and in bed, but that's another story....hahaha) In anycase, I decided at that point that I wanted someone that valued family, that wasn't all about thier career, and didn't mind taking care of the house (something i'm not too keen to do). She actually enjoys it - I had a weekly maid service back in the states and she thought it was a waste of money because they didn't even do that great of a job - she said...let me do it and give me the money! Link to post Share on other sites
Oyuki kigan 0 Posted June 29, 2007 Author Share Posted June 29, 2007 most 'feminists' i know have nothing against being a 'housewife'. It is a perfectly valid choice for a woman to pursue, and takes nothing away from the dignity of womanhood. It is only when housewivery is THE ONLY choice that it becomes a little touchy. I suppose that women in Japan are generally not taught to have goals any higher than being a housewife might raise hackles. But consitering that generally man are taught not to have goals than to be some slave to a company, i can't say that the system is horrible just to one sex. Link to post Share on other sites
SirJibAlot 0 Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 True. Actually, my wife would like to be an accountant, or an artist, or a calligraphy teacher - but she mostly wants to be a mother. I support her in anything that she wants to do - that's what's really important. On the other hand, i'm the slave to the company Link to post Share on other sites
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