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shit mate \:o That is tough, but you have to at least be sure before you can commit either way to any decision. At leats now that the topic has been broached you can follow up on it hopefully and get the low down. Good luck mate.

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The up side (if you can call it that) is that about 1/3 of all pregnancies don't make it through the first three months.

 

The higher the mother's stress levels, the greater the chance of miscarriage.

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I can't offer any good advice but I hope things will work out.

On a similar note, I was just having dinner with a friend and she mentioned her friend (who is happily married and has a daughter) is pregnant again. I thought that was good news but she said her friend was very depressed because it was not planned and her previous birth-giving was quite traumatic. I was a bit confused and asked "you mean it was an accident?" She said that her friend's husband was using condoms when it happened. That surprised really surprised me. Apparently, getting pregnant despite using condoms is not that uncommon. She even said she had several friends and colleague who experienced the same thing.

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 Quote:
Originally posted by snowbender:
Tough situation dude.
Get that test.
If she told you it is yours, she is surely obliged to do that for you to prove it if she is a decent person.
That sounds like a very "male-centred" view. I would agree that she should provide proof if she is demanding her partner undertake his responsibility but as she has not demanded anything I really don't believe she has that obligation.
If I a guy gets a gal pregnant, certainly the guy has the right to know. As she has informed griller, it seems that was a decent thing to do. She also has not made any demands. I can also understand why she was angry when being asked for proof. Perhaps from her perspective she knows it has to be griller's and asking for proof seems like an insult. I understand her reaction but I don't agree with it. Griller certainly has a right to ask for proof if he has any don't because a lot of very important decisions have to be made based on whether or not it is really his.
Based on what griller has said so far, neither he nor this gal has done anything outside the bounds of behaving decently.
If she does provide proof, that certainly should help griller make his very tough decision. If she does, then griller's decision is even tougher. But if she is prepared to go it alone, I think we can hold it against her for only informing griller and not providing proof. Let's not be too hard her now. Both she and griller have a lot of problems to work out.
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Definitely there must be proof. No matter whether she is certain or not, it's too serious a matter for griller to take her word for it. Good luck with the next meeting.

Veronica, I don't see this thread as girl-bashing.

 

lol Markie, I will keep your offer in mind. As long as you don't demand child support lol.gif

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Markie usually deals with his drug problem by coming to Japan as Japanese women are his greatest addiction :p

 

griller, hope youre doing something to keep your stress down mate - whether its painting, listening to music, or working out. Could imagine how stressful this period must be. ganbare thumbsup.gif

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 Quote:
Originally posted by sunrise:
Definitely there must be proof. No matter whether she is certain or not, it's too serious a matter for griller to take her word for it. Good luck with the next meeting.
Veronica, I don't see this thread as girl-bashing.
Totally agree.

Aren't condoms only supposed to be 70 or 80% effective even when used properly?

Good Luck on Monday, griller. The fact that she's agreed to meet you again is a good sign re the testing. She was probably just shocked when you mentioned it yesterday and will have had time to think about it by then.
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Yeah I know I didn't mean to come across so strongly with that. \:\)

 

I would have thought condoms were a higher % success than that though surely - if used properly.

 

Good luck griller!

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Out of interest how do they test paternity when it`s still embryo form? Do you not have to wait until it`s fully developed/born or is it possible to check at any stage? Would have thought it would be dangerous taking blood from a baby inutero or in embryo??

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 Quote:
Originally posted by soubriquet:
That's twice you've mentioned crack, Markie. Perhaps you should deal with your drug problem in private. Not in an open forum.
Sorry, soubriquet. Business has been slow lately with everyone watching the World Cup and drinking beer instead of loading up. So I thought I'd sneak in some subtle advertising. But now that the whistle has been blown.....
It won't happen again.
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"drug dealers dont sell drugs - drugs sell themselves. Its not like its a vaccum or an encyclopedia ya know...Have you ever heard of a crack dealer saying, 'shite, how the F'am I gonna get ridda all this crack?'" ...Chris Rock

 

hes a funny comedian and I love that skit lol.gif

 

Markie, in order to get over your addiction you must stop coming to Japan and gawkin at all da ladies ;\)

 

sorry, waaaay off topic

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They don't take blood from the baby. They take a sample of the amniotic fluid the baby is floating in. Google "amniocentesis" for more info...

 

Just checked out the condom efficency, sorry I was a bit off - 90%-95% effective against HIV, 98% affective against pregnancy.

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Whatever happens griller, i hope you all come out ok.

If that girl decides to get the baby (and it is in fact yours), please consider that the baby needs a father. the baby didn't choose to come to this world. please don't run away. the moment you have reproduced you are no longer the most important person in your life.

I know i am only giving you an even bigger headacke (and i'm sorry about that)

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I think you should not feel bad about politely running away if that is what you decide. It is your life.

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 Quote:
Originally posted by soubriquet:
Lets get this straight. She is making the decisions, and you are held responsible. Walk away from this female filth.
Soub that is really quite offensive.
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Sorry nicole, not trying to be offensive. Girls are, of course, made from sugar and spice. They never lie, cheat or manipulate. They never ever withold access to your children in order to achieve whatever is in their head. Make yourself a hostage to this innocent victim.

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Take out your wallet, open it and place it on the table in front of you. Say "Help yourself". Now remove your pants, grease your arse and bend over the table. Congratulations, you have now achieved the "Legal", or "Father's Rights" position. Remain there for 18 years.

 

She has already started making her own decisions and cut you out. Don't expect things to improve. Don't expect to have any access to your child, or any say in its future. Don't expect any support from the authorities or child welfare system.

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