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The top "news"paper in the UK has a riveting report today that is very important

 

http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/story_pages/news/news4.shtml

 

"The pretty brunette suffers from a rare but genuine medical condition that means she has up to 250 orgasms a DAY.

 

It's called Permanent Sexual Arousal Syndrome—PSAS.

 

The throb of a BUS engine, driving over SPEED BUMPS, the purr of a LAWN MOWER, even the rhythmic motion of a PHOTOCOPIER!

 

Ellie, 28, told us: "People think having orgasms all the time must be brilliant—but they look at me like I'm some kind of nutter because I'm always having to stifle my sighs or scurry off for a private moment."

 

Don't you just love the way they emphasise things with CAPITALS.

 

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But wait lets do some maths.

 

Let's say she is awake from 8am-12midnight - that's 16 hours a day.

 

And let's say that she doesn't have an orgasm while she's having breakfast, lunch, dinner or on the toilet, so let's bring it down to 15 hours a day.

 

Let's say she has 10 orgasms before breakfast (of course, who doesn't hey?), leaving her with 240 orgasms to have in about 14 hours.

 

That's 17 orgasms an hour.

 

That's an orgasm every 3.5 minutes.

 

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"One day I was trying to clear a blocked drain. The stench was disgusting but as soon as I started wiggling the rod about to shift the blockage, I was crying out in ecstasy!"

 

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