me jane 0 Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 Quote: Originally posted by big-will: Perhaps it should be "easy jane" for a while.... I think I prefer lucky jane Quote: Originally posted by ProbablyaCrazyPerson: Do you think that people who are in the habit of being 'easy' can suddenly stop that when they hitch up with someone. I have seen many cases when that just does not happen. Depends on the people and the relationship. If the relationship is fulfilling, with mutual love & respect then there's no reason why anyone would need to stray. Reverse can also happen - someone settles too early, realises what they missed out on several years into a marriage and then goes AWOL. Quote: Originally posted by nicole: On another matter, I have a friend who is quite promiscuous, purely because she is afraid of rejection. I think a lot of girls/guys pefer to sleep around rather than get into a relationship that might result in them getting hurt. And on another matter, what is it with all these affairs. I know a girl who has a "married with 2 kids boyfriend". She's very proud of it and tells everyone. I guess it helps her self esteem cos she convinces herself that she must be better than the wife. Link to post Share on other sites
bushpig 0 Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 Yeah, I don't get that either me jane. Link to post Share on other sites
ncorrenti 0 Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 Cheating is low. If anything it should lower one's self esteem. The worst scenario is when women have affairs with married men in the hope that they'll leave their wives and marry them instead. As if a guy like that wouldn't do it again to them. Stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean11 0 Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 Quote: Originally posted by nicole: The worst scenario is when women have affairs with married men in the hope that they'll leave their wives and marry them instead. As if a guy like that wouldn't do it again to them. Stupid. Not necessarily so at all. There are a lot of courses and a lot of horses. Live a bit longer and you might encounter some. Link to post Share on other sites
kintaro 0 Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 Agreed nicole, cheating is for the inept, pitiful souls that can't maintain a monogamous relationship. But hey, to each their own, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean11 0 Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 > cheating is for the inept, pitiful souls that can't maintain a monogamous relationship. In a monogamous relationship, there's more ways to 'cheat' than you're giving credit for ... Link to post Share on other sites
kintaro 0 Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 Such as? I don't know, in my case, my wife is the apple of my eye. I don't need a substitute or a 'side salad.' Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean11 0 Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 > my wife is the apple of my eye That's very nice. As is mine. But some husbands and some wives don't always keep their marriage vows to the letter, which always makes for trouble. My point being to rebut nicole's suggestion that 'cheating' would likely be serial behaviour on the part of a man whose first wife didn't keep her vows - he might very well be looking for a second one that will. And hedging his bets at the same time, as older men are wont to do. (I'm sure there are many men who don't want to beg their wife not to be a starfish, if you get my drift. I'm sure women also have their gripes too.) We've had a few crises of our own, and I don't know of anybody else who hasn't, so I'm speaking from experience here. Link to post Share on other sites
ncorrenti 0 Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 Quote: Originally posted by Ocean11: > my wife is the apple of my eye My point being to rebut nicole's suggestion that 'cheating' would likely be serial behaviour on the part of a man whose first wife didn't keep her vows - he might very well be looking for a second one that will. And hedging his bets at the same time, as older men are wont to do. Riiiiightt... so because the first wife turned out to be a dud, he's completely justified in looking for a better replacement? Of course, all marriages have their problems and a lot of them don't work out, but that's no justification to cheat. If you aren't happy in your relationship, end it, and then move onto another one. Link to post Share on other sites
me jane 0 Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 Quote: Originally posted by Ocean11: >In a monogamous relationship, there's more ways to 'cheat' than you're giving credit for ... Would this be considered cheating? I have a J-friend who works for the girls' site. No porn, no nudity, no talking dirty and she earns 40 plus man a month for a few hours work a night. What kind of people pay for that? Link to post Share on other sites
cal 6 Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 Wow, I wish I could get work like that. Link to post Share on other sites
number9 0 Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 Hey, if there's demand.. Link to post Share on other sites
rach 1 Posted February 17, 2006 Author Share Posted February 17, 2006 Ocean11 - whats with the pic? Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean11 0 Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 It's the black and white vision of some of the righteous folks on here, with the blobs of grey that the less fortunate among us have to deal with, innit. Link to post Share on other sites
me jane 0 Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 Quote: Originally posted by cal: Wow, I wish I could get work like that. Seems anyone can do it. Just need a webcam and a bit of Japanese. Think it would probably help to be single too. Link to post Share on other sites
kintaro 0 Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 Having a crisis (which I agree we all have) is not the same as cheating. It is, actually black and white. Cheat or don't. Not a very difficult concept. The grey that you have to deal with could easily be dealt with in the realm of black or white (cheat or don't cheat.) Link to post Share on other sites
ncorrenti 0 Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 Quote: Originally posted by Ocean11: It's the black and white vision of some of the righteous folks on here, with the blobs of grey that the less fortunate among us have to deal with, innit. You're like a left-wing version of Dr Phil. Link to post Share on other sites
ncorrenti 0 Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 Quote: Originally posted by Kintaro: Having a crisis (which I agree we all have) is not the same as cheating. It is, actually black and white. Cheat or don't. Not a very difficult concept. The grey that you have to deal with could easily be dealt with in the realm of black or white (cheat or don't cheat.) Well said. Link to post Share on other sites
bushpig 0 Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 Yeah, I go to the Black and White corner. Link to post Share on other sites
SKI 15 Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 Me too. It is so easy to use the "grey" argument as a justification for actions. Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean11 0 Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 Black and white people - hands up who has children. Link to post Share on other sites
soubriquet 0 Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 For me, sexual fidelity is a fundamental part of marriage or a de facto relationship. It is easily possible for one to betray a personal partnership without committing adultery. At which point is it acceptable for the other to find comfort elsewhere? Link to post Share on other sites
kintaro 0 Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 What do children have to do with cheating? "Hey honey, little Johnny has been real bad today so I'm gonna go boink the neighbor.' I don't have children. But I would think it would make one even more loyal to keep the family together and provide a healthy environment for the children to grow up in. Link to post Share on other sites
number9 0 Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 Yeah, love marriage works so well Link to post Share on other sites
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