ncorrenti 0 Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 One of my very good friends has started dating a guy that I used to be 'friends' with a couple of years ago. I use the term 'friends' loosely because at the time we were 'friends' I thought he was a super nice guy. In the end, I found out that he was actually a pathalogical liar and a complete sleazebag. I had dinner with her on the weekend and she seems completely smitten by him. It seems that he hasn't said anything to her about our falling out, so she thinks we are still on good terms. I had plenty of opportunity to tell her what I know about him but I didn't - she seemed really happy and I didn't want to ruin that. However, I'm now really worried for her because I found out today from another friend that she is thinking of quitting her job and moving up north to be with him. If he's the same guy he used to be then I can see this being a huge, very bad mistake for her. I've told a couple of our mutual friends what I think of him and they are now pressuring me to tell her - but obviously I'm worried that it could backfire and she'll end up hating me. So, any advice/thoughts on what I should do? Link to post Share on other sites
nzlegend 1 Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 perhaps the mutual friends could break the news. or take a risk anhd try and save your friend. If you have conclusive proof to back up your claims perhaps she will see the light of day. Its tough to say what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
sock_monkey 0 Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 will she hate you more if she moves, quits her job, finds out the hard way and then realizes you could have warned her from the get-go but didn't? Link to post Share on other sites
ncorrenti 0 Posted January 30, 2006 Author Share Posted January 30, 2006 Yeah, I've considered that but I'm not sure she will listen to me even if I tell her everything. At this point in time she seems to think he's the best thing since sliced bread. They've been dating for three weeks and apparently he's told her he loves her and wants to marry her one day (!?!). I guess ultimately I'm not sure anything I say will change her mind. He is very charming and a very good liar, so I'm sure he'll have a suitable story to counteract anything I tell her. On the other hand, what if he really cares about her? Maybe he has good intentions. I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean11 0 Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 Contact your old 'friend' and tell him you've heard he's going out with your girlfriend. Tell him you got strong pangs of jealousy when you heard it, and you want to see him again. Meet up with him and see if you can get him to play away with you. If he does, you can tell your friend what a complete bastard he really is, and she'll be forever grateful to you for putting yourself on the line like that. Probably. Link to post Share on other sites
ncorrenti 0 Posted January 30, 2006 Author Share Posted January 30, 2006 Hehe, I always look forward to your comments 011. Cheeky bastard. Link to post Share on other sites
js 0 Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 I totally agree with O11 - with one exception - you MUST tape the whole thing so the gal-friend will believe it happened. See him squirm his way outta that one! Link to post Share on other sites
bushpig 0 Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 SubZero is right, video is necessary! Get the London Boots fellas(Japanese pair on TV that bust cheating partners for suspicous people) on the job! They can set up a sting, tape the whole thing and expose him for the scumbag he is (may well be)! Link to post Share on other sites
ncorrenti 0 Posted January 30, 2006 Author Share Posted January 30, 2006 Guys that is a really bad idea! No no no. I'm going to give her a call tonight. Not sure if I'll tell her... just going to sus things out. Link to post Share on other sites
bushpig 0 Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 seriously, I'd be inclined to say tell her, but that could end the friendship. How about dropping the fact that you aren't really on friendly terms anymore, without making it specifically about her and him. She'll probably ask why, which would allow you to explain without having to make it a warning to her. That way it may not feel to her like you are calling her a fool. Dunno... Link to post Share on other sites
sock_monkey 0 Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 IMO you'd be a useless friend if you didn't. then again, i appreciate it when people tell me my fly's down. Link to post Share on other sites
ncorrenti 0 Posted January 31, 2006 Author Share Posted January 31, 2006 So I called her... I pretty much told her everything that was on my mind (although I sugar-coated it somewhat) and she took it pretty well. I expected her to get upset and she didn't. However, it seems he beat me to it. Apparently he had told her what went down - although she refused to tell me what he said. She did say though that his story was quite different from mine (I guess that's to be expected). I told her I really hoped she believed that everything I told her was 100% true and she said she would have to think about it. Some of the things she told me he said about me has really made my blood boil because they are totally untrue and actually quite vindictive. I am quite offended that she is even entertaining the thought that he might be telling the truth. Meh... I reckon this is going to get nasty Will keep you updated. Link to post Share on other sites
bushpig 0 Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Good one Nicole. That's all you can do. Why don't you just tell her that you are not going to get drawn into an argument with him (or her) about what went down, that you've said your part, and you'll leave it at that. Then just refuse to let it turn into a sledging match. Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean11 0 Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Definitely video it then. That'll prick her little bubble for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Weegeoff 0 Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Lets hope he does not resd this forum Link to post Share on other sites
Weegeoff 0 Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Sorry that should be. Read this forum. Link to post Share on other sites
Yuki's Passion 1 Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 If she's such a good friend and takes his word over yours, then there's no sense in worrying. Let her go and make the mistake. She will find out in the end that you were telling the truth. If I was telling the truth and a mate of mine didnt belive me, I'd tell him to F'off. Simple. Bushpig, F'off!! Link to post Share on other sites
bushpig 0 Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Biatch! F'off yerself! Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean11 0 Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 So there you have it nicole. Show her the video. Then tell her to **** off. (Invoice is in the post.) Link to post Share on other sites
ncorrenti 0 Posted January 31, 2006 Author Share Posted January 31, 2006 011, I thought your advice was pro bono! I got an email from her this morning... I'm not sure how to take it... should I post what she wrote? Link to post Share on other sites
Yuki's Passion 1 Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 sure, lets sharing Nicole Link to post Share on other sites
ncorrenti 0 Posted January 31, 2006 Author Share Posted January 31, 2006 She said: ------------------------------------- Howdy Hope you're feeling better today..And I hope we are ok! I know that you - and the other girls- are just concerned which I appreciate but I am also a little annoyed that everyone has been discussing this 'behind my back'. But I know you all mean well so don't stress. Basically it comes down to this. Yes you knew **** for a lot longer than me but I like to think that I know him on a different level. When you knew him he was a doing a lot of partying (as you were) but he's completely different these days. As for him trying to split up you and ***, I can't believe he would do that - that is not something he is capable of, I know that for sure. I know he just wants everyone to be mates and leave the past in the past - this is what I want too. =) This needs to happen fairly quickly I guess if we are all going to be at *****'* party on the 10th, right? If you want to talk about this more then we can catch up for coffee or something (am working daytimes on the weekend but am free in the evenings)..Otherwise, I think everyone (ie you) needs to forgive and forget - I hope that doesn't sound harsh!!! love **** ------------------------------------ Link to post Share on other sites
ncorrenti 0 Posted January 31, 2006 Author Share Posted January 31, 2006 Yeah so there are some things she said that I feel are quite bitchy and 'out of line' but at this point I'm inclined to just let it go. I'm starting to think I shouldn't have said anything in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
bushpig 0 Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Sounds pretty positive considering what could have gone down! Go with your instinct and let it go, is my 2 cents worth. You told her, she heard, that's all you can do. If things do go bad later, then maybe she'll see it a bit more from your point of view anyway. Otherwise, at least you are still mates. Link to post Share on other sites
ShinyDiscoBall 2 Posted February 1, 2006 Share Posted February 1, 2006 Ah, the old 'know him "on a different level"' thing. As she says, that's what she likes to think. So...... did you do a lot of partying then nicole? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts