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Dilemma. (Sometimes) smelly girlfriend


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Snowbender:

Been here to long but is the expression " wouldn't kick her out of bed for farting" when referring to a good looking bird still alive and well.

 

(After many hours at the crease Misorano knocks up his first test century)

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Next week it will be 79, and then after that 78 and then 77... right up until 2037 when Ocean11 goes crying to mama that the mighty Misorano (who isn't shooting blanks, and scoring all the chicks in the old folks home) has finally overtaken him.

\:D

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Pipsqueak though he is, misorano has posted some fairly entertaining shit so far, so we won't mind too much if the kohai can run that far with the ball.

 

snowbender, you could leave what is vulgarly referred to as a 'butt-plug' on the bedside, and when the lady asks what it is, you can casually say "I just thought you might need it again tonight, that's all", and leave it at that.

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  • 1 month later...

snowbender, perhaps you might be interested in this "internet exclusive" from the sun (copied with permission of course ;\) )

 

By LOUISE COMPTON

Sun Online

 

DID you know that women fart three times more often than men?

 

Probably not. And it’s quite likely you would prefer not to know!

 

But for those with a penchant for all things grotesque, it’s a disgustingly fascinating fact.

 

And it’s just one revolting morsel taken from new book Really Gross Facts which is out now.

 

Here we have selected some of the most nauseating:

 

Your sponge contains more bacteria than your toilet.

 

50 per cent of women and more than 90 per cent of men don’t wash their hands after they’ve been to the loo – unless someone else is watching them.

 

The biggest tapeworm ever found inside the human body was 35 metres long.

 

Over your lifetime you will produce enough spit to fill a swimming pool.

 

When Eskimo babies have colds, their mothers suck the snot out of their noses.

 

Every year, 14 bugs find their way into your mouth while you sleep. And yes, you do swallow most of them.

 

Parks in London are watered by more than one million gallons of dog urine every single year.

 

If your head is chopped off, your brain will keep functioning for about 15 seconds!

 

The Romans used crushed mouse brains as toothpaste.

 

If you consume takeaways on a regular basis you will swallow about 12 pubic hairs a year.

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 Quote:
If you consume takeaways on a regular basis you will swallow about 12 pubic hairs a year.
I found a very suspect hair in a Kentucky not too long ago, it was very unsettling. \:\(
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I once broke up with a guy because he was a chronic farter. It wasn't that I couldn't handle the smell or the fact that he was farting in front of me, but rather that he had absolutely no manners whatsover.

 

If we went out with friends to dinner, he'd happily let one rip loudly at the dinner table. We'd go shopping and he'd fart loudly in front of sales assistants. He farted in front of my mother on more than one occasion.

 

Now, I'm not completely anti-fart and I tried my hardest to come to terms with his habit (especially as he very cute), but in the end it was just too much.

 

Be thankful, at least, that your girlfriend reserves her farting for private places!

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I had a wicked laugh at everyones reply's! People in my office were looking at me and asking why I was laughing.

My two bobs worth is that farting in bed isn't enough to kick her out or leave her. If that was the norm then my misses would have kicked me outta home years ago.

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just don't fluff the covers! if you sleep with the blanket tight around your neck then you can contain the fart until it disipates. Buy a can of air freshener spray and keep it by the bed.

but it's a tough situation.

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  • 4 months later...
  • 8 years later...

take a lighter to bed. The next one that comes out gets flamed like gas from an oil well.

 

Were you having a slow night Thursday..? ....2006?

Thursday has a slow life lol

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take a lighter to bed. The next one that comes out gets flamed like gas from an oil well.

 

Were you having a slow night Thursday..? ....2006?

 

Hey! Quality content is ageless. There are some great suggestions here and Snowbender is yet to update us on his resoluton

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get a dog dude. Its the instant solution to all fart and smell related issues. Think of it like chopping off your hand to stop your headache. Once that dog starts ripping it, your girlfriends farts will comparatively smell of roses.

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