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About Cane

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    SJ'er with 10+ posts
  1. She is cool chick. Too good for me. (My friend is too good for me too.) (but you've probably already surmised that.)
  2. I think I have to grow up and make things better with my wife.
  3. I'm not asking you guys to cut the flow of comments, but I myself might withdraw a bit. Airing my life like this is starting to get a bit freaky. Suffice it to say, that the ball is rolling and I'd rather not give a play by play of all the action at this point. Some of you guys and gal really hit the nail on the head a few times.
  4. YES!!! Can't drag things out any longer. I am sick of this shit! I'm going to have a long talk with wife about things tonight. Gotta focus on the two of us right now because it really is more about us first. Thanks for posting soub. I know you've got a lot on your own plate and I'm sorry to hear about your friend.
  5. Yeah, Mr. W, bringing it up is really touchy. She's the type of person who would get a divorce quickly and never look back. I do agree with others that I have to talk to her about things but I don't think I should directly attribute the cause to the other woman. Actually the other woman is NOT the only factor and there are some other issues. Actually though, my wife knows that I was too close, so it's bound to come up. About the job situation. The other woman got transferred last April. You'd think that would be the end of it but we haven't cut the ties. Absence makes the heart gr
  6. Thanks O11, I really appreciate your comments. I've been trying to downplay things with option B. Ie-- I've always made it clear that I wanted to stay with my wife, even though that's not necessarily how I felt, because I didn't want things to escalate, or for option B to have any expectations. I reaffirmed that in a long conversation with her last week, while admiting that I'm FAR too fond of her. --But it hasn't been sitting right.
  7. Quote: Even just putting it out there might slap you back into reality and take it out of the realms of possibility. Right now, you are thinking it over and over without any accountability in the real world. Tell your wife, a friend, a family member, and then you have someone to answer to and also talk to about it. That might just give you some perspective on the issue. Yeah, I know. I talked with a few friends about it months ago but the thing just kept dragging on so I figured I'd better stop talking. Actually I spoke to a good friend on the phone just today and approached the subject with:
  8. Quote: a cloned combination of Jack Nicholson, Rip Torn and our own Danz/Snowjob:
  9. I object to the 'get your rocks off' part but thanks for your honest opinion Kintaro. Keep in mind that I haven't done anything. At this point it would be very easy to go to the other woman and say I'm thinking of getting a divorce and string her along like that but I haven't. We both know that we like each other too much, but for the most part I've kept really silent about the whole damn thing and I've always tried to be as honorable as possible dealing with these [censored]ed up emotions.
  10. About the same. Same as the attraction question. They're pretty similar people actually. If anything, my wife has slightly more similar interests, but my friend has slightly more similar attitudes and opinions. I know I'm not giving you much to work with.
  11. Close call. She's not more attractive than the wife. Either way, it's not enough to tip the scale. I would say that it's not really a matter of physical attraction and that it's more emotional but then I'd just sound like an unrational freak with his head up his ass.
  12. Mantas, I seem to be a man of questionable morals but I hope you stay and I've enjoyed your posts -- that goes for my other more credible personality on this forum too.
  13. I've looked under many a beer bottle. You hear a lot about the connection between drinking and depression. I'm very much in favor of a few drinks to numb out after a crappy day at work but I know I'm REALLY screwed up when I STOP drinking. Anyway, here are a few answers: Quote: Does your wife love you? Is she a sound, honest, trustworthy and respectable woman? Do you trust and admire her? Yes. Yes. Yes. That's the thing. Except for a bad temper sometimes, she's perfect. I think I married her more for that than for purely emotional reasons though. It just seemed like the thi
  14. Thanks for your comments. A few bone-headed ones—but I’ve had it coming. Writing this stuff down under an assumed name and reading it again on an internet forum makes things more objective. Sorry to use the SJ forum like this but - what the hell – it gives SJ that bit of extra drama (though I’m not sure we need it with all of the bickering going on at the moment). Like I said, this has been going on for about a year now, but it seems like things are coming to a head one way or the other. I feel pretty guilty just contemplating D but in the last week I’ve been leaning towards that option more t
  15. "Romance awaits you" [censored]ing great! Just what I need!!!
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