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hellyer

SnowJapan Member
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Posts posted by hellyer

  1. When we get older we think differently, don't we? This letter was sent to the Principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit to all humankind... especially if you are familiar with the Elderly. Forward to anyone you know who might need a lift today.

     

     

    Dear Kean Elementary,

     

    God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Springer Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it's nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady. My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping.

     

    The other day her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. Her distress over the broken radio touched me and I knew this was God's way of answering my prayers. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to go phuck herself.

     

    Thank you for that opportunity.

     

    Sincerely,

     

    Agnes

  2. Just demolished a 700g rump off the Weber.

     

    Washed down with Burleigh Brewing's Hef and Duke Premium Lager.

     

    All this after an afternoon sucking Stones & Wood Pale Ale in the Eatons Hill Hotel with Mrs. & Young Miss Big Al on a hot humid Queensland day.

     

    :thumbsup: Aaaaahh life's good :thumbsup:

     

    700g rump!........holy sheeet.

     

    I wondered what happened here -

     

    Half Cow.jpg

  3. Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near.

    His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him.

    He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak:

    My son, "Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses.""

    My daughter "Sybil, you take the apartments over in the east end.""

    My son, "Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Centre."

    "Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the banks of the river."

    The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings, and as Doug slips away, the nurse says, "Mrs. Smith,

    your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property".

    Sarah replies, "Property ? ... the asshole had a paper run!"

    • Like 1
  4. Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.

     

    Drunk and walking home they needed to Pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.

     

    One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them.

     

    Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them.

     

    She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.

     

    After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home.

     

    The next day one of the woman's husband was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said:

    'These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties !!'

     

    'That's nothing' said the other husband,

    'Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said...

     

    "From all of us at the Fire Station.

    We'll never forget you."

    • Like 1
  5. A small church had a very attractive big-busted organist, Linda, and her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably.

     

    The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.

     

    So one of the ladies approached Linda very discreetly about the problem, and told her to mash up some green astringent persimmons and rub them on her nipples and over her breasts, which should cause them to shrink in size, but warned her not to taste any of the green persimmons, because they are so sour they will make her mouth pucker up, and she wouldn't be able to talk properly for a while.

    The voluptuous organist reluctantly agreed to try it.

    The following Sunday morning the minister walked up to the pulpit and said, "Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not hab a thermon tewday".

    • Like 1
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