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A
brief guide to the many paths that lead down the hill |
Renting a board is easy but what do you do with the damn thing once you
have it?
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You’ve already lugged the thing around the cafeteria, the
locker room, and the front of the women’s restroom trying to look cool
but no one is taking notice.
It’s not going to be as easy to impress as you once thought
and you are struggling with the idea that you may have to actually go out on
the slope. Confused, board in hand, standing in the blustering snow, it is easy
to be lured into shelling out a few Sosekis on a beginner snowboard lesson.
However, when the snow and the bill settles, and you find yourself digging
through your pockets to pay for that last nikuman of the day, you may wish you
hadn’t bothered with the beginner lesson after all. Believe it or not, you
are better off venturing out to conquer that romantic five-foot plank of wood
on your own.
My first snowboarding lesson was delivered in short bursts from
a fed-up rental shop lackey at Naeba as I walked out the door of his shop –
the lesson was finished in under three minutes. I had just finished filling out
the forms, trying on three pairs of boots, and searching for that perfect
"I’m a bad-ass snowboarder" snowboard. I was all ready for my first
snowboard experience and the shopkeeper was ready to hang himself from the
nearest Morning Musume-blaring lift pole. Happy to see me go, the shop lackey
waved exhaustedly as I headed for the door. His disappointment was apparent
when I made a Columbo-like turn at the last minute and asked, "By the way,
how does this thing work?"
Morning Musume's cacophony blares from lift
poles across Japan
He snorted at me and said, "Bend your knees and point the
thing down the hill. When you want to turn right, look to your right. When you
want to turn left, look to your left."
"That’s it?" I asked disbelievingly.
"One more thing," he added something that I will
never forget, "no matter what you do, never look at your own feet.
That’s it. Now will you please get the hell out of here?"
So, just as instructed, I got the hell out of there. I climbed
an isolated part of the hill, bent my knees, pointed the thing down the hill,
and… looked straight up into the sky flat on my back before I even had a
chance to look right or left! As I persisted on this suicidal self-taught
course, the amount of time between my inevitable crashes grew until I was able
make some slight left and right turns, the relief of which was painful bliss.
No one will deny that the first day on a snowboard is about the worst day in
your life but I doubt that a snowboarding lesson will make it better.
A friend of mine felt differently about snowboarding lessons
so, after spending the morning struggling on his own, he signed up for a
beginner course. The instructor spent two disappointing hours teaching him how
to strap the thing to his feet and to skate around on one foot – his money
was wasted. Believe me, you’ll get enough practice strapping on your
equipment and skating on one foot in any full day of snowboarding without
blowing your hard earned yen on professional instruction.
You can’t expect to jump on a board and start doing 720s and
McTwists on the very first day so don’t get frustrated. You should expect to
spend that first day paying some very painful dues. Remember that the second
day you snowboard will be significantly better than the first, even if the
second day is months later. Your body will remember the motions (and the pain)
and you’ll slowly get the hang of it over your second and third day. Most
likely, after your third day, you’ll be ready to kiss your skis goodbye
because, for many of us, there is simply no turning back.
You can't expect these results on the first day
- not on purpose anyway
Of course, I should point out that there are some benefits to
beginner snowboarding lessons. First of all, for the absolute beginner
who has never set foot on a ski slope and whose friends cannot help, a
lesson would probably be a good idea. Also, in my two years of self-taught
snowboarding, I may have picked up some bad habits, which might have been
prevented from the start had I found a decent instructor.
The choice is yours, but for those of you who feel like giving
it a try on your own, I have included some tips and exercises to get you
started. (For those of you who have already mastered the basics, these
exercises may not be of interest to you, but be sure to tune in to the next
column!)
In order to make this lesson simple, I need to explain some endearing
snowboarding terms.
|
TERM |
WHAT
IT MEANS |
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Fall line |
The line that
represents the path that a ball would follow down the slope. Your
board will naturally follow this line unless you tell it otherwise - and
sometimes even if you do tell it otherwise. |
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Goofy/regular |
Most
people snowboard "regular", with their left foot forward.
If you snowboard with your right foot forward, you are, no matter what
your mother told you, "goofy". |
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Heel edge |
The edge of the
board that is closest to your heels. |
|
Toe edge |
I don't
really need to explain this, do I? |
|
Traverse |
Sliding
laterally across the slope. |
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Fakie |
Riding
back foot first. |
|
Tasukete! |
Help! in
Japanese. |
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Doite! |
Get out
of the way! in Japanese |
First, some easy exercises you can do to help you get used to
the feel of the board while on the flat terrain:
Take your board out onto the slope and throw it to the ground
like you know what you are doing – ooooh you’re so tough! Strap in your
front foot. Wait! Before you strap in, you need to decide which is your front
foot. When you kick a soccer ball, or a bar stool, or the neighbor’s cat,
which foot do you balance on? When you pick up a bat to swing at a baseball, a
cricket ball, or your spouse, which foot is forward? If you balance on your
left and kick with the right, you should try to ride regular. If you balance on
your right and kick with the left, you should try riding goofy. Now, strap in
your front foot, tightly.
No matter what your mother says, you might be
goofy
You get plenty of practice with skating as you learn to
snowboard but, giving it a try at first can help you familiarize yourself with
the slickness of the board. Lean on your front foot and push gently away as if
you were skateboarding with your back foot. You will notice that the board is
slick and fast and that it laughs at you as you trip and fall. The board may
feel awkward and heavy with your foot strapped in at an angle. You may even
catch an edge causing you to lose balance but you will get used to it. Don’t
worry about getting it perfect now, concentrate on how the board feels.
After a few minutes of skating, place your back foot in the
back binding without strapping it in. Put your weight on your front foot and
lean your hips forward over the front foot. Make your shoulder and torso in
line with the board. Without looking down, point your shoulder at a building or
land-mark in front of the board. While keeping the weight on your front foot
and your body in line with the board, use your back foot to move the board left
and right. The board should pivot at your front foot making an X-like pattern
in the snow. Imagine you are sliding down the hill toward the landmark. To go
to the right of the landmark, kick the back of the board so that the front
points to the right – keep your body in line, your face forward, and, as Dick
Clark might say, the skin wrapped tightly around your forehead.
Equal rights activist and developer of
snowboard eXercises
You may or may not wish to try this frustrating exercise on
flat terrain. If you try it for the first time on slope terrain, the board will
move while you are trying to get up so it may be a good idea to try it on the
flat. If you are trying it on the slope, make sure the board is across
the fall line so it doesn’t start rocketing down the hill. No matter where
you try it, it sucks. My first time getting up I did the crab-walk on my hands
all the way back down to the bottom with the board scooting away in front of
me. Tasukete!
Strap in your back foot. From the sitting position, kick the
front of the board up using your front foot and slowly roll over onto your
stomach. This will cause a strain on your back knee and ankle so be careful not
to push it too hard- take your time. After you roll over, sit on your knees
with the board behind you. Walk your hands back toward the board lifting your
knees so that you are standing. Voila! This is the easy way of getting up
backwards for your first day. Getting up frontwards takes a lot of patience and
stomach muscle but you will get plenty of practice and get used to it later.
You may not be ready to climb the slope yet, but do it anyway.
Take the board off and climb up a shallow, isolated, wide area of the hill that
is nearby the cafeteria but not so close that the people inside can see you.
Sit in the snow and strap in the board making sure that it sits across the fall
line. Get up anyway you can – you may be ready to have a break or quit, or
get drunk at this point but just keep at it.
Tempted? You will be
When you do get up, you will feel the board sliding forward,
you can stop this sliding with your ankles. Keeping the weight of both feet
even on the board, if you are facing up the hill, dig your toe edge into the
snow until it stops. If you are facing down the hill, use your heel edge.
Release the edge slowly and the board will begin sliding down again. Slide down
the hill slowly like this using your heels to stop the board often. Climb up
and try it again. If you were facing down the hill, try facing up the hill this
time and vice versa. Try it a few more times alternating.
Now you are ready to traverse – some of you may be on day two
by now. When you were sliding, you were releasing the edge with both feet and
sliding on the edge down the hill. Traversing requires you to lean on one foot
and ride the edge across the mountain rather than down it.
While standing on the board, bend your knees slightly and bring
the weight of your torso over your front foot and, keeping your shoulder in
line with the board, look forward at a landmark across the slope. The board
should begin to gain speed across the mountain in the direction you are
leaning. Don’t look down. Don’t lean back. To stop, kick your back foot
slightly down the hill - this only works sometimes. Other times the board will
simply begin moving in the opposite direction. Fine, you can go the other
direction just as easily on a snowboard by riding fakie. Lean your torso
over your back foot and face that direction, kick the front foot down the hill
to stop yourself. Don’t lean back. Always lean in the direction that the
board is going even if you want to stop it. If you lean back, the board will
speed up and you will fall. Try traversing left and right, front foot first and
back foot first (fakie), across the mountain several times.
Are you ready to turn?
Some of you may be on day three, but this is where it all comes
together so hang in there. DO NOT LEAN BACK. IF YOU LEAN BACK, YOU WILL FALL.
Facing down the hill (standing on your heel edge), traverse the mountain
towards your front foot. Stand up, releasing some of the weight off of the
board, but keeping your body weight forward. Turn your entire torso and your
face toward the inside (down the hill) while allowing/forcing your back foot to
follow through. The board will begin picking up speed very quickly. Your
instinct will be to stare at the tree/person/yakisoba shop for which you are
heading but this will only drive you directly toward them so, ignore this
instinct and have faith that they will get out of the way - yell "Doite!"
if you wish. Don’t lean back and don’t look down. Continue to turn
your torso, face, and back leg in the same direction while squatting down
applying more pressure to the board. The board should continue to turn so that
your chest begins facing up hill. You should now be traversing the opposite
direction on your toe edge. Edge to a stop. The whole turn will be over in
seconds. You’re half way to freedom!
Traversing on your toe edge, you will begin your backside turn.
Keeping the weight up front and your torso in line with the board, lead the
board toward your backside down the hill while kicking your back foot forward
to complete the turn just as above. Like before, don’t lean back and don’t
stop turning your torso and face until the turn is complete.
Completing this short list of exercises may take you three days
but, when you finally begin turning to the right and left, you’ll feel
jubilation as you realize that, basically, that is all there is to snowboarding
and you are a snowboarder! Congratulations!
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