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The
Lessons of the Season
Part 2 |
Part 1 can be found here.
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There is always so much to learn in the way of
technique and I still have a long way to go! Here are some tips I picked up
last season.
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Torsion Baby! - This
was like our rally cry this year. Did you know that lifting the heel of
your front foot and the toe of your back foot will automatically bring
your back foot around to the front? This helps to maintain speed while
turning by staying off your edge. Try it! |
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Conscious Thought Is the
Enemy. - If you catch yourself thinking about what you are doing,
you may fail. Snowboarding is not a sport of the mind but of the much
less inquisitive Medulla Oblongata. |
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Lean Forward, Lean Back?
- I've always made this simple separation: In thin powder, lean forward.
In deep powder, lean back. However, an Iwatake instructor urged me to
relax my viewpoint and, much to my surprise, leaning back in thin snow and
forward in deep snow definitely has its place. |
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Drink Water.
Snowboarding requires a high-speed reaction time. Dehydration
significantly reduces your reaction time. Drink more water, it is that
simple.
(Enter Wine.jpg - "If you can't find any water, a few gallons of wine
should do the trick. Helps with that subduing the conscious thing
too." |
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Low and Forward Into the
Jump - Actually, low and forward is a good thing to practice at
anytime but especially when jumping. You should spring lightly off the top
of the incline but leaning back with a high center of gravity spells
disaster every time. Take the jump, or the jump takes you - and, oh yeah,
it took me, brother. |
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Alignment - Board,
shoulders, and line of sight should all be in a nice straight line
hopefully going the same direction. |
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Rest after 2:00 PM. - It
is no coincidence that more than 70% of snowboarding and skiing injuries
happen after 2:00 PM. If you are having a sloppy afternoon, take a
breather and live to snowboard again some other day. |
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No Brakes Wins R.T.C. -
Russian Tank Commander races, in which the contestants sit on their boards
like sleds, are won by the guy who keeps his feet and hands inside the car
at all times. |
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No More Duck - I tried riding
'duck', but it just hurt my knees. |
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The Queen - Never pass the
queen of spades before a game of Hearts. It always comes right back!
Sorry if you view this as irrelevant - depending on your après-ski
success, Hearts may or may not have anything to do with your season. |
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Thought Conditioning - Don't
look AT the trees, look THROUGH the trees. Just repeat that constantly
and you'll be alright |
Alright, lets get down to brass tacks here:
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Curry - Don't get the curry
at Furano |
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Get Along - Make friends
with your snowboard shopkeeps. |
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Carry a Swiss - No, not
a Swiss Army Knife, a Swiss Person! Those Swiss come in handy in the
damnedest ways! If you can't get a Swiss person, get a St. Bernard. |
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Snowboard Life - I
recently discovered that Snowboard Life, my favorite SB mag, was bought up
by Transworld Snowboarder, which reads like an add sheet. Damn! |
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Why am I in Tokyo? I
don't know why. |
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Is it worth it? - The
answer to this question is, "Yes, it is worth it." |
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Skiers can not be
trusted - (show mpg) |
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Marusei - When in
Hokkaido pick up a couple of boxes of Marusei Butter Sandwich Cookies for
the co-worker-droids. Chances are they'll look the other way the next time
you blow off a Friday with a (hack hack) cold. |
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Lock 'em Up - Lock your
board at night, not because people may steal it, but because your vengeful
friends may decide to sneak out and superglue a compass to the front of
it. To think I called these people my friends! |
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Rainbow Man - Don't be
afraid of the guy in a rainbow suit, he's friendly. |
"Don't be afraid, he is
here to help!"
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National Security - It
is Canada, not Canadia, but lets not split hairs. |
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Liar! - That guy at the
Furano chairlift is a godforsaken liar! |
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Style - Boots that are
too small may look stylish, but they sure hurt like hell. |
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The New Pro - Trying to
market yourself as the creator of the "Reverse 90 Grab" probably
won't be too successful because most people consider it to be a mistake. |
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Fakie - Haven't
face-planted recently? Try riding fakie. |
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Good Ideas -
Snowboarding with a cracked rib only SEEMS like a good idea. |
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Membership - If I don't
become a member of the mile-high club next season, then I guess I'll have
to settle for the 800-meter club. Hell, I'd even settle to become a member
of the damned sea-level club at this point! |
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Kids - Kids enjoy gaijin
snowboarders dressed as Santa Claus, unless Santa drills them in the back
at approximately 35 miles per hour. |
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Drills - Girls at Motown
also enjoy gaijin dressed as Santa Claus, just think twice before you
consider drilling them at any speed - especially in the back. |
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Screwdriver - Carry a
screwdriver with you on the slope, but not too close to your crotch. Trust
me on this one. |
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